Article By: Ryker XL
As I scoured the booths at my local Spring comic book convention in search of “Walking Dead” trades, I found this little novel by James Farr called “Xombie.” On a whim I picked it up for light reading on flights for work. I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this little book, and yet I will full admit to being very surprised by it. In the end Farr’s tale is both fun and dare I say heartwarming (something I never thought I would ever say about a story concerning zombies).

The premise is a unique one. What if a zombie was self-aware and even had fleeting memories of once being human? What would that zombie do, where would he live, and most importantly, what would he do if he heard the cries for help from a lost six year old girl?

Thus is the lot of Dirge, a conscious zombie purely content to live the remainder of his existence near a graveyard. His days are spent listening to old records and taking care of his zombie dog “Cerberus.” One day his peace is interrupted by a young girl named Zoe who has been separated by her parents in an evacuation. In that moment we see the human part of Dirge slowly come to the surface as he struggles with how he should respond to the situation. Ultimately he grabs his trusty shovel (which he affectionately calls “Faust”) and zombie companion and goes to kick some zombie ass!

What follows is a fun, action filled journey as Dirge and Cerberus make their way through a zombie wasteland in an attempt to reunite Zoe with her parents. Along the way we see the relationship between this zombie and a little girl grow; and more of Dirge’s humanity rises to the surface.

The end of the book is simply fantastic and all the while I was thinking to myself, “this would make a great PIXAR or Dreamworks movie.” While we wait for the powers to be to recognize the awesomeness of such adventure, you can watch Dirge’s adventures in an animated Flash movie on DVD. There are also rumors that Farr is in negotiations on a script for a live action version of “Xombie” as well.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The exciting zombie fights are coupled with tender moments between Dirge and Zoe as she begins to see her rescuer as more than the monster that the rest of the world see’s. Which does beg this question, if a zombie risks his existence to save a little girl, is he really a monster after all?

You may have heard us talk about this awesome board game on Drunken Gamers Radio, or maybe the name sounds familiar to you from the recent news that the game was being translated to both XBLA and the PSN. Either way, it seems that every year, some new and awesome expansion is released for the game from it’s creators, Twilight Creations.

For those not in the know, the game Zombies!!! features a set of tiles that are placed randomly by players to create a gameboard. The board is filled with zombies and players are tasked with getting to he helicopter pad before being killed. Players are allowed to add zombies to the board and play cards in order to screw the other players and make sure only one gets to freedom first. Kind of like the anti Left 4 Dead mentality of zombie survival. Very much every man for himself. It’s a lot of fun and the game has only gotten better with different add on packs that add cool new locations and items. For instance, one of the earlier expansions added a mall so that you can more accurately play through a twisted version of Dawn of the Dead.

The latest, and 8th in the series so far, is called Jailbreak and starts you in a mental ward. From there, it just gets worse as the zombies invade and you have to get your crazy ass to freedom. Highlights of the expansion include 15 more map tiles, 30 new cards and a new “dodge” mechanic to help you survive the zombies in your quest to survive. The cost is $15.00 and is set to go on sale soon!

Check out the website for more information at Twilight Creations Inc.

Article By:Snowball

As a non-practicing Christian/practicing agnostic, every year around this time I am filled with quandary as to what exactly possesses people to celebrate Easter. Lets face it, we all know its a bit crazy, right? The idea that once a year we should all hide colored eggs and eat chocolate bunnies because 2000-some-odd years ago, a man who claimed he was the divine offspring was martyred and then three days later rose from the dead. Normally I wouldn’t knock an excuse to eat bunnies – chocolate or not – but divine zombies? Just seems a little nonsensical.

In honor of Zombie Jesus Day, I rented Resident Evil 5 because as a Zombie craves brains, I crave disappointment.

Anyway, I wasted my morning (so that you wouldn’t have to) searching the inter-web for entertaining shit that had to do with Zombie Jesus. Here is a brief list/description of some of the stuff I found. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Zombie Jesus Is Back – Apparently this movie won some awards at an indie film fest I’ve never heard of. I love B horror movies, but this one looks like a D+.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/491107 – A brief look at one man’s prophetic vision. Remember: Zombie Jesus loves you. Click the “watch this movie” button.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDENmSJIlMI – “Judas Iscariot you taste of betrayal” The Passion of Zombie Jesus is kind of a swing and a miss, still funny enough to check out… Highly blasphemous. But if you’re even considering any of these links I don’t think that will going to bother you too much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAdOpYmI1iY -If you enjoy the creation process, here’s a video of somebody sketching a “Sweet Zombie Jesus”. The end result is worth sitting through the music. SHIT! there’s a mute button?!

http://newworldodour.co.uk/live/archive/sweet zombie-jesus/ – Top 5 ways to kill Zombie Jesus. Though I don’t necessarily agree with all their tactics, I’ve got to say at least there were using their BRAAAAIIINS when they came up with the pros and cons to each scenario.

And of course, the almost definitive source for Zombie Jesus information:

Zombie Jesus Wiki – This just says everything I was thinking and more about Zombie Jesus. Definitely worth checking out.

I’m a pretty lucky guy in that I don’t sit around fantasizing about killing my boss in creative and unusually painful ways. As a matter of fact, my boss is a great guy who I could see myself hanging out with were it not for that boss/grunt relationship. We talk movies, music, and pop culture, swap CDs and movies, and generally have a pretty amiable relationship. He knows of my zombie obsession and has initiated conversations about the undead with me on several occassions. Today, he gave me this: the What Would a Zombie Do? folder, and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite some time.

The front of the folder (left) is a spinner for you to determine what a zombie would do in any given situation. Aside from my personal favorite (Reek), the responses include Moonwalk, Plod, Rise from the Grave, Moan, Devous Flesh, Force Entry, Congregate, Eat Brains, Drool, Hunt the Living, and Decompose. That pretty much covers it, I would think.

The inside folder flaps are seen below. Most useful is the zombie conversion chart…

The WWZD folder is made by Accoutrements and can be purchased at Archie McPhee for the low-low price of $4.95.

So I received a gift of awesome recently, in board game form.  What makes this game so awesome, you ask? Well, zombies, of course.  But not just zombies.  Zombies in a mall.

Zombies in the Monroeville Mall.

The premise of the game is as follows: You have an intrepid band of survivors fleeing the zombie holocaust, as does every other player.  Your team consists of the heavy (a big guy who can lift heavy things and grunt), a guy with a gun (being a guy…with a gun…) and a worthless blonde trollop who attracts zombies like Moe to a pile of Little Debbie snack cakes and Rogain.

Yeah, I went there.

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We’re full of class this week as Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad finally makes it into our 360′s. We also wax nostalgic with Retro Game Challenge and shoot zombies in House of the Dead. We try to redeem ourselves by talking the artistic merits of Flower, but the boobs got in our way and we were forced to just sit and bask in the glow of John’s Happy Light. You heard me.

Why the hell do I even try and write these?

Email Us: mailbag@drunkengamersradio.com
Voicemail Line: 612-424-3835
DGR Twitter Feed
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SHOWNOTES

PSN Review: Flower
Wii Review: House of the Dead-Overkill
360 Review: Onechanbara-Bikini Samurai Squad
DS Review: Retro Game Challenge
Retro Review: Friday the 13th (NES)
News: Remote Masseuse
Left 4 Dead DLC
Dragon Quest IX Delayed Again
New Home Partners
Release List
The Last Shot
DGR Mailbag

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DGR: 02.15.2009

The power went out at my job. DTE couldn’t fix it within a few hours, so they sent everybody home. When you get a free paid day off on a release day of a zombie game, you gotta go after that shit, man.

I don’t have to explain House of the Dead, right? Arcade rail shooter. Zombies. Done.

The great news is that all that grindhouse vibe they showed in the trailers wasn’t just an awesome marketing tactic. They keep that style going in the game from beginning to end. They even put this graphic filter on to make it look like you’re watching a drive-in theater as you play. Neat stuff. The House of the Dead 5 is the end result of Grindhouse’s Planet Terror meets Dead Alive [and/or the quality of].

The better news is remember all the other House of the Deads? Balls arcade hard you remember. Say you wanna just throw a zombie gun light gun game in and chill with your friend, you couldn’t get past stage 2 unless you brought over your hours-invested save file because you’d run out of continues right-quick. Overkill fixes all that since this House of the Dead 5 is the only one built from the ground up for home consoles. This is the party zombie gun game on rails. Now anybody can team up and make it from beginning to end in one sitting to bond and laugh at the campy cutscenes and f-bombs.

Well what if you played HotD for the tried and true arcade challenge? You ran through this in a few hours. What now? Well sir you get to increase the difficulty slightly, stage select whatever you want with your now-unlocked Dual Wielding support (2 wiimotes, 1 player, 2 different guns fuck yeeeah[!!!]), or you can play the Director’s Cut extended version of the game:

“Director’s Cut
You have a limited number of Continues in this mode, making it much more difficult to get to the end. This mode is only available upon completion of the main game and you are prohibited from commenting on Internet forums regarding The House of the Dead: OVERKILL until you have beaten it.”

-HotD: Overkill Instruction Manual

Oh I’ve beaten it. So you will hear exactly what I have to say!

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I know this was one of you. I think it’s time you fessed up and got the congratulations you so richly deserve.

For those of you not in the know, Austin news outlet KXAN has the story here. The long and short of it involves some intrepid and hilarious hackers changing an electric road sign to warn drivers of the zombie apocalypse currently “in progress”. I know it’s a dangerous and highly illegal activity, but it seems like smart people preparing for the inevitable to me.

But that’s just me.

After imbibing some of the most fantastic beer ever to grace the bar, we manage to talk about ThumbStruck for the iPhone and The Maw for the XBLA. In addition, we talk about the latest gaming news and we give John massive amounts of crap for his recent Peggle fixation. You think you know a guy.

Thanks to Thom for sending us the great Belgian beer! Please be so kind as to Digg this episode! Thanks!

Email Us: mailbag@drunkengamersradio.com
Voicemail Line: 612-424-3835
DGR Twitter Feed
Facebook Group

SHOWNOTES

iPhone Review: ThumbStruck
XBLA Review: The Maw
Retro Review: Magical Chase (TG-16)
News: Onechanbara
Peggle for iPhone and XBLA
New Sackboy Costumes Coming
Hydro Thunder Sequel
Release List
The Last Shot
DGR Mailbag

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DGR: 01.24.2009

Because nobody’s sick of seeing this image on the left or anything. This is the guy I don’t get. Where do they get the elbow pads? How do they all know to put on the elbow pads?  How is his hood always on? I am baffled, sir. Valve has turned their reports over to the Center of Disease Control. Current day scientists have computed the demographics and their estimated zombie type mutation results when the coming zombie apocalypse hits:
All infected obese people become Boomers.
All infected bodybuilders become Tanks.
All infected rock stars become Smokers.
All infected skaters become Hunters.
All infected teenage white girls become Witches.
All infected doctors become Faust.
All infected iPod owners become Sheep.
All infected athiests become Christians.
All infected WOW players become Angry German Kids.
All infected Spanish and black people become Drones with really weird alienish things controlling them.
All infected Europeans become Rage.  And when asking about it, nobody will every clearly describe what the hell that means…or why they felt they had to trash the good name of the first movie by making a meh sequel.
All infected animals become WTF Mitochondria things from Parasite Eve…
…
…
…
erm…Let’s move on!

Criken2 provides the moving pictures this round.

Written guide for playing as Hunter continues:

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