The Holiday Season is well under way, and those of with kids might feel overwhelmed with countless adventures in Toys R’ Us and Wal-Mart.  It wasn’t too long ago that I remember fighting massive crowds of crabby, frustrated parents looking for that last Tickle Me Elmo.  So this year, why not do your kid a favor and prepare them for the Zombie Apocalypse in a fun and education way by purchasing Plume and Robinson’s book “There’s a Zombie in my Treehouse.”  I first heard about this book on “Night of the Living Podcast,” and all I can say is…it’s BAD ASS! 

The story is pretty simple, our hero, Johnny, has an amazing tree house where he spends many happy days pretending to be a knight in shining armor, a cowboy, or other heroic figure.  But then one day we seem Johnny sulking on the curb.  When asked why he isn’t playing in the treehouse he explains, “Because there is a zombie in my treehouse.”  Several people try to console the young boy, explaining that the zombie is all in his imagination.  So one by one they ascend into the treehouse (and this is the BEST part) never to be seen again.  There are no gory scenes, no explanation, they just simply disappear.    

The story is cute, easy to read, and has some great artwork from Len Peralta.  Perhaps I am a horrible Father, but I wish I could have read this book to Tiny when he was younger instead of “Goodnight Moon” for the 100^th time.  So if you want a unique gift for a zombie loving parent, visit http://www.zombieinmytreehouse.com and pick up a copy of this book!

A while ago I put together a little ditty about the hunter.

Promises of more were made. And not kept.

I lie about stuff. A lot.

However, I have decided the new infected are too good to pass up, so based on the lovely demo (which B Nerdy from..somewhere…graced me with), I bring you these…

…creations.

Enjoy!

The Spitter (To the theme of “Oops, I did it Again”)

Oops!
… I did it again.
I spit acid on you
Face lost in the drain.
Oh, melted baby.
Oops!
… You think I’ll explode
That I’m just a boomer
but I’m gonna spit acid on you

The Smoker (To the theme of “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”)

You don’t know how you got it
You just that you’re caught
Oh Lordy you’re a-runnin’
From the horde and you got caught
In the intestines
All stretched out
You’ve been smoked!

Oh no, don’t be shy
You don’t have to go hide
I’ll hold you, choke you, lick you, kill you

The Boomer (To the theme of “Baby Got Back”)

I like to puke and I cannot lie.
Just love to see that bile fly.
When a survivor sneaks in with a clean mug
and an itty bitty gun I get BLEEARGLBLPTHH *explode*

The Charger (To the theme of “Hold My Hand”)

Hold my arm
Want you to die right now
Hold my arm
I’ll slam you down you’ll see
Hold my arm
You don’t have a choice when I come
‘Cuz I’m going to pound you down into that trash can
(more…)

October, Halloween, ghosts, and the ZomBOOsical. All these things make a guy like me want to get his scare on, and so off to the Netflix cue I go. 

Based on a recommendation from the Drunken Zombies and the fact that it was the talk of the Toronto Film Festival, Phneri and I decided to check out the indie film DEADGIRL.  At its core, this movie is a zombie movie, but then again it’s not.  It’s disturbing and yet thought provoking, artfully filmed and well thought out; and yet so very hard to watch.  It’s for these reasons that I am torn on recommending this film, but discussing it is a must for zombie fans and so a thread I shall start. 

Ricky and TJ are two very lost teenage losers.  They are ridiculed by their peers, shunned by their parents, and not far from kids I knew in high school. They are representative of the awkwardness of the teen years.  One day they decide to skip class and drink a few beers at an abandoned mental hospital.  They kick over chairs and break some stuff until they venture deep into the basement where they find something unusual.  There, barricaded behind a door is a woman, chained to a table and covered with a plastic sheet.  TJ and Ricky freak out at the sight of what must be a dead girl when they notice that she is still breathing.  Ricky wants to call the cops, but TJ recognizes that there are opportunities to be had with a woman tied to a table and that losers like them should take advantage of that.  Ricky gets pissed and leaves TJ and the mystery girl behind. 

The next day TJ pleads with Ricky to come back to the hospital. There is something he needs to show him, something he can’t explain as Ricky would never believe it.  Ricky reluctantly agrees and back to the Asylum they go.  Here TJ explains that while he was trying to have his way with her, the mystery girl kept trying to bite him, and so he broke her neck.  But there on the table the girl lay, very much alive.  TJ takes out a gun he stole from his Dad and shoots the girl.  Ricky screams in horror only to see that she indeed is still breathing.  TJ explains that she is obviously not human and that they should continue exploring with her.  Ricky agrees, only if TJ can keep this a secret.  The secret eventually gets out, and to the worst person imaginable: Ricky’s teenage crush, JoAnn.  What follows is a twisted tale of a teenage fantasy gone astray and the horrifying mess that is left in its wake. 
(more…)

This is a pretty entertaining flick. It mixes the “teens break down” bit with the “haunted house” bit, and adds in some zombie-ish scares for good measure. But Dead & Breakfast is more comedy than horror. Think of it as Shaun of the Dead, only not nearly as good…despite what Ain’t it Cool says on that poster over there.

So to sum up, a group of teenagers wind up staying at a Bed & Breakfast. Soon, the creepy owner and chef wind up dead and the teens are prime suspects. But that’s just the beginning. While they’re trapped in the small, redneck town, one of the teens accidentally unleashes some sort of supernatural spirit and before you know it, the whole town is possessed…and homicidal.

Dead & Breakfast isn’t a great movie, but it’s definitely worth the watch. It’s about on par with 2001 Maniacs, which we talked about a few days back. It’s got a few laughs, more than a few eye-rolling moments, and a handful of good kills. We’ve certainly talked about worse movies this month. Oh, and David Carradine is in it.

Welcome to the zombie movie where nothing ever happens…

The Zombie Diaries is a British flick that came out a few years back and seems to take inspiration from Max Brookes’ excellent novel World War Z. The idea here is that different groups of survivors film the outbreak in different stages (which means a whole load of shaky cam), showing their experiences trying to survive the zombie invasion.

Remember when “bird flu” was big? You know, before the pigs took over? Well, The Zombie Diaries was filmed during that time and as such uses it as a launching pad for a pandemic. The zombies here are slow-walkers who have all been infected with this particular virus. It’s a cool way to make the story relevant to today’s audience, but the problem here is – like I said – nothing ever happens in this movie. The different stories all wind up tying loosely together at the end, but there are very few zombie kills, very few tense moments, and a whole lot of bad actors walking around, wringing their hands, saying, “What are we gonna do?” And when the zombies are actually on the screen, they almost seem harmless. They’re taken down with ease, and the times they actually do make contact with the survivors it’s unclear how they managed to sneak up. In one scene, a guy is sitting in a car safe from harm and a second later there’s a zombie on top of him. How did he get there?

It’s not that The Zombie Diaries is a “bad” movie. It’s just incredibly slow-paced and certainly drags throughout the majority of the picture. About halfway through we’re introduced to a group of survivors who are living on a farm and shit starts to get interesting. If you like your zombie flicks to be more human interest pieces involving tales of survival and how people interact, this might be up your alley. Just don’t expect The Walking Dead.

Zombies and drinking? A match made in Drunken Gamers heaven! This place opened up near “Nordeast” Minneapolis a few months ago and we love it so much that we took Phil to check it out…twice. Donny Dirk’s Zombie Den is located just off I94 and Broadway in North Minneapolis. Not the best neighborhood. In fact, it’s located in the former building of Stand Up Frank’s, a bar notorious for crime, stabbings, and other bad shit. The story goes that the people who wanted to open it up as Donny Dirk’s (also the folks who own Psycho Suzi’s, another great Nordeast bar/restaurant), had to jump through a whole slew of hoops to get it approved by the city, simply because of the reputation built by Stand Up Frank’s. As such, the entire parking lot is fenced in, there are two outdoor security guards on duty at all times, and cameras line the building inside and out. Nevertheless, and quite miraculously, you never once feel unsafe at Donny Dirk’s. Unless, of course, you’re afraid of being eaten.

As the name indicates, the whole place has a pretty solid zombie theme. There are zombie movies playing on the televisions that overlook the bar, there’s a chainsaw behind glass, dead deer (leftover from Stand Up Frank’s) dressed up and mounted on the walls, and weapons behind glass above the urinals in the bathroom. You know, just in case you’re attacked while at your most vulnerable. On top of this, the bartenders are dressed like Shaun from Shaun of the Dead, complete with white shirt, red tie, and blood spatter, and the waitresses are dressed in black gowns, Elvira-style. The place is elegantly designed with casino-grade carpeting and plush, luxurious bar stools and booths.

The first night we went, the bar was packed to capacity, so Phil, Scotty, Moe, and I got to sit in the R.I.P. room, which is a private little cubby near the front of bar. Nevertheless, it was cozy and intimate, almost like hanging out at home.

Check out some pictures of the place…

(more…)

Alright, so Zombieland technically isn’t a proper horror film, but fuck it: it’s got zombies and lots and lots of gore. Good enough for me.

I’ve wanted to see Zombieland since the moment I saw the first trailer. That shit was funny and it seemed to capture the zombie experience perfectly. I managed to get out to see it on opening night, and it didn’t disappoint. The movie is nonstop entertainment from start to finish and moves at a steady clip. Again, it’s more of “zomedy” than horror, more “Shaun” than “Dawn”, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some stunning kills and scares to be had. And when there aren’t dozens of zombies on the screen, there are plenty of laughs to fill in the blanks.

Zombieland follows four zombie survivors as they attempt to navigate through the new landscape of abandoned cars, abandoned buildings, and bloodthirsty zombies, looking for the fabled zombie-less safe zone. Survivors are few and far between in Zombieland, so the story almost completely involves these four characters. Almost.

As you’ve probably worked out from the trailer, Woody Harrelson is a complete bad ass in this movie; a bit dimwitted, sure, but hiding a tragic secret. Jesse Eisenberg goes from Adventureland to star in Zombieland and is turning out to be the next Micheal Cera. Emma Stone from Superbad is hot and naughty in this movie as Eisenberg’s eventual love interest, and her sister is played by Little Miss Sunshine, Abigail Breslin. It’s a strong cast and the chemistry is perfect.

Zombieland is in theaters now and I highly recommend paying your admission and seeing it in that atmosphere. You’ll find the audience cheering and even applauding at times as the movie brings all the best elements of the zombie genre and adds a ton of laughs.

Last night I eagerly logged into to Xbox Live in hopes of getting a Batman Arkham Asylum nightcap when I saw my good friends Skreesha and Phneri online and watching a movie I have never heard of.  I had dabbled with Netflix party, sharing quick 20 minute episodes of “Bullshit” before, but never an entire movie.  So, I sent a quick message to Skreesha asking what the heck they were watching.  Moments later I was invited to watch their movie in a party, with Moe joining soon after.  What followed was 80 minutes of movie fun that has to be one of the better times I have had on Xbox Live. 

The movie we were watching was “Insane in the Brain.” At first one might think that it has something to do with the Cyprus Hill song of the same name; however nothing could be further from the truth.  “Insane in the Brain” is a spoof of both zombie movies and the “blaxploitation” films of the 70s.  For those unfamiliar with these films, they were known for their (mostly) all-black casts, over-the-top blatant sexuality, and bloody violence.  Movies such as “Superfly” and “Foxy Brown” featured tight, scanty outfits , tailored 70′s-style suits, big afros, sex, violence, drug dealers, pimps, prostitutes, and, let us not forget, the tricked-out “pimpmobiles.”  As popular as they were, they soon faded largely due to pressure by the NAACP.  

It is this cultural icon that director Chad Hendricks pays homage to in this horror-comedy.  The movie opens as several zombies (four to be exact) rise from the grave proclaiming their need for “Brains, more brains.”  The zombies find a party at a pimp’s house and start killing hookers.  It’s then that we realize that these zombies aren’t looking for brains so much as they are looking for a good piece of ass.  As the hooker body count rises, two cops arrive in a black Cadillac to investigate.  Detectives Sloan and Goldie are dressed in iconic 70s garb including platform boots, and a big afro with a comb!  The detectives interrogate the hos and soon realize that they are dealing with a group of horny zombies.  After much consternation, and some beer and weed, they come up with a grand plan to eliminate the menace!  Detective Sloan leans a funky cheer as he, his partner, and a bunch of hos attack the graveyard.  Classic!

 The film was produced for only $10,000; and you can tell by the way they recycle shots and re-use the zombie mask and gloves the monsters wear.  It was very cheesy, but unlike many bad movies, this one never takes itself seriously.  The dialogue is straight 70s and reminiscent of “Undercover Brother.”  The film provides a bucket full of laugh-out-loud moments that were only enhanced by the MST2K banter of our Netflix party.  All of us sat and tried to outdo one another with a witty comment about the dialogue or sparse sets.  In short, it was a simply awesome!

 After the show we all sat and looked for other bad movies that we could enjoy such as “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus,” or “Tokyo Zombie.”  But alas, I fear that whatever we decide to watch next, it will pale in comparison to the experience provided by this film.  So with Halloween approaching, and our need to enjoy all things zombie, grab a friend or two online or in your living room and give “Insane in the Brain” a look.  It’s an experience you won’t soon forget.

George Romero seems to be able to sneak these movies out without telling anybody. Wasn’t it just a year ago that Diary of the Dead came out? Either way, Survival of the Dead is apparently finished and touring the festival circuit, which means it should hit DVD in about a week. Ok, maybe not, but I doubt it’ll play anywhere outside of the indy theaters.

So remember those AWOL National Guard pricks from Diary of the Dead? They are apparently the stars of Survival. They hear about an island off the coast where people are safe from zombies and decide to check it out. Of course, by the time they get there shit has hit the fan as rival clans are conflicted over what to do with the zombies. One faction wants to blow their brains out, while the other wants to find a use for the zombies while they attempt to find a cure. Stuff happens, brains are eaten, and blood is spilled.

Survival supposedly has a bit of a western feel to it, something you can make out from the above trailer. The reviews seem to be a bit mixed, but that’s how it seems to go with Romero’s movies these days. I enjoyed the hell out of Diary, but I can see how some folks have problems with it. I’m sure the same will be true of Survival. To me, it’s just good to see the zombie master working his craft.

In what is quite possibly the best news for zombie fans in years, Variety reports that AMC is working on adapting The Walking Dead for a television series. The series is being developed by writer/director Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile), and Gale Anne Hurd of Valhalla Motion Pictures.

Why is this great news? Simply put: The Walking Dead is the pinnacle of modern zombie tales. Robert Kirkman’s series is consistently gritty, authentic, and oftentimes heartbreaking. And while gory zombie kills are plentiful in The Walking Dead, it’s really a story about human interaction and what would happen if everyone on Earth was in a fight for survival.

According to Variety:

Joel Stillerman, AMC’s senior veep of programming, production and original content, said the project appealed to the cabler because of “the quality of the storytelling” in Kirkman’s work. The series will stay faithful to the tone of the original novels, he said.

“This is not about zombies popping out of closets,” Stillerman said. “This is a story about survival, and the dynamics of what happens when a group is forced to survive under these circumstances. The world (in ‘Walking Dead’) is portrayed in a smart, sophisticated way.”

Stillerman noted that the cabler’s annual “Fear Fest” movie showcase around Halloween is one of AMC’s most popular programming events of the year.

“We’ve got an audience that loves this kind of material,” he said.

I’ve been dreaming of a television adaptation for ages now, but always assumed that if The Walking Dead did make it to the small screen, it would be via HBO or Showtime. However, given AMC’s recent track record with Mad Man, and having a high-caliber writer like Frank Darabont, my hopes are high.