Shoot ‘em Up
Clive Owen delivers a baby during a gunfight, has sex during a gunfight, and kills people with carrots. Paul Giamatti says a bunch of silly quasi-philosophical shit and really, really wants to murder babies and Clive Owen. Monica Bellucci (from a bunch of The Matrix stuff) plays a lactating hooker who won’t show her tits. I can confirm there is, in fact, another anti-tank sniper rifle at some point.
Let me check…
…Yep. That’s about it.
The star of the show is the “I <3 John Woo” shootouts directed by Michael Davis. If you recall the Dr. Suess book Green Eggs & Ham, basically any physical place that book names there’s pretty much going to be a shootout or car chase at or near the modern equivalent of wherever you’re thinking of.
In defense of the “ya probably need to turn your brain off to enjoy this” cliché label:
1. There is no sequel.
2. The purpose of the film is not to sell merchandise.
That concludes my essay as to why suckers who went to Transformers 2 should go after Shoot ‘em Up instead and become less of a sucker.
Oh, right. And if you have taste, don’t look at me, mang. You go follow whatever Mitch says.
