Alright, so this one is a TV series and not a movie. But that just means there’s more of it to enjoy.

Vampires are big business these days, for some fucked up reason. And believe me, before True Blood began, I felt the vampire schtick was the worst of all the horror genres. It just hadn’t been done right in so long. From the half a million takes on Dracula to the god-awful Twilight vampire/tween craze, it was just so played out. But then HBO got their hands on the Sookie Stackhouse novels and it all changed for me.

True Blood excels in just about every category. Every episode has buckets of blood, gory kills, hot naked chicks, and over-the-top plots. The show not only has vampires, but demons, werewolves, shape shifters, and other supernatural elements.

If you’re new to the show, the gimmick is simple: Japanese scientists have invented a synthetic blood, and as a result, the vampires that have been living in secret all these years are now able to “come out”, so to speak. After all, they no longer have to feed on humans and animals, so they should no longer be feared, right? Yeah…

The show takes place in a tiny town in Louisiana, where there’s a lot more crazy shit going on than just vampires. The star of the show is a character named Sookie Stackhouse, a young waitress who is able to read minds and who soon falls in love with a newly-outed vampire. As the episodes go on, complications arise and soon everyone in town is dealing with some sort of supernatural phenomenon.

True Blood’s third season just finished up, and the first two are already available on DVD. The show is nothing but campy, bloody fun and I highly recommend checking it out.

Moichendising!

Yogurt said it best. The key to success is merchandising. T-Shirts, toys, posters, games. Whatever sort of crap you can toss at rabid fans. If I’ve learned anything from George Lucas it’s that even if your movie sucks (Episode I), you can still make a killing off merchandising.

One of my favorite shows on television is HBO’s True Blood. It’s rare that I find a show that interests both my wife and me, but this one hit the jackpot. Now, I must first mention that I find 99% of vampire stories to be…well…for lack of a better term: gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But seriously, just take Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire. Those two were one take away from full-on penetration and their abysmal spin on Anne Rice’s novel made me walk out of the theater questioning my sexuality. And don’t get me started on Twilight. I haven’t even seen the movies, but the trailers alone give me an uncomfortable tingling feeling in my anus.

But I digress.

Suffice it to say that True Blood kicks ass. Every episode contains buckets of blood, oodles of boobs, and a few laughs mixed in for good measure. Each week, my wife and I sit down to watch the crazy story of a small Louisiana town as the citizens cope with vampires, shape-shifters, and all sorts of other crazy beings.

For the uninitiated, the premise of the show is when Japanese scientists create a synthetic blood capable of replacing real, human blood, the vampires who have been living hidden among us for centuries “come out”, so to speak. They make their presence known, now that they don’t have to hunt humans as prey. True Blood becomes a bottled beverage, sold in different varieties (Type O Positive, Type A Negative, etc.), and vampire bars pop up all over the country. Of course, some vampires still seek the thrill of the hunt, but that’s a different story. We’re here to talk about the beverage based on the TV show.

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