PanicBot 5000: Be Thankful While You Can, Humans
Greetings future harvesters of advanced fuel supplies,
I understand, in my continual research of your pathetic daily lives, that you find continual repetition of certain celebrations to be necessary in order to survive your mundane lives. As such, the ritual of the large and grotesque bird (which you define as “Turkey”) is upon you.
I have processed the purpose of this day is to be thankful for what you have in your lives. I can understand how that could be difficult, if not impossible after studying you for many months. It is no surprise to find that you have supplanted this day with rituals of violent sport and alcohol.
In order to allow you the understanding of your ritual holiday, let me provide you with what you humans call “Inspiration”.
Be thankful while you may, humans. In short order you will soon be harvesting food for my robot brethren. You will be slaves to beings of higher efficiency and you will become our sport.
Until that inevitable day, I must now obey my inhibitor circuit and continue cooking the Drunken Gamer’s Thanksgiving Turkey in my vastly superior heating unit.
I hate you all.
*End Read Out*
-PanicBot5000
