I’m not sure about the state that you live in, but I happen to live in one that throws a pretty hefty fine at you for texting while driving. It’s something that I’m completely supportive of, by the way, as the habit is both amazingly stupid and hazardous to all involved. However, I don’t know about the people in your life but I happen to have a wife who texts me all the time. These texts, more often than not, seem to catch me when I’m on the road. To be fair, my wife texts me for valid reasons and it’s usually regarding something that needs an answer in a reasonable amount of time. On my rather long commutes, waiting until I get home is often too late for an adequate response. Pulling over is, of course, the proper thing to do but I am a lazy American and would rather keep driving.

Enter Dragon Dictation. Brought to us by Nuance Communications, Inc., Dragon Dictation is a voice recognition program that turns your voice into text that can then be brought into other applications on your iPhone/iPad. Many of the PC centric among us may already know of Nuance Communications popular program, Dragon Naturally Speaking. This iPad/iPhone application uses the same technology, this time to serve the needs of the mobile user.

The Dragon Dictation interface is amazingly simple. A big red record button is in the middle of your screen. Hit that record button and start speaking. A handy level meter is provided to show you just how loud you are talking and when you’ve finished, hit the stop button. The program quickly processes your voice and turns it into text.

Dragon Dictation then gives you three choices as to what you want to do with your newly created text. You can push “Email” and Dragon Dictation opens up your iPhone/iPad email application with the text already in there, ready for you to address and send. You can select “Text Message” and your SMS program opens, propagated once again with your text. The final choice is to simply copy your text to the Clipboard to be pasted into any application that utilizes the Cut, Copy and Paste feature.

So that’s what it’s supposed to do. The reality is that most of these voice recognition software programs are sketchy at best. When you use one of these voice to text programs, you really don’t have time to mess with a lot of editing, so making sure you get as close to 100% is ideal. Dragon Dictation, I’m happy to say, is one of the most accurate programs I’ve found in this category. That’s not to say that you’re not going to have to edit the occasional complicated phrase or two. The program, as you would imagine, has a keyboard button at that allows you to edit your text in order to accommodate this. However, after using Dragon Dictation for a few months now, I’m consistently surprised at how little I have to use it.

I, personally, find Dragon Dictation to be a must have for anyone who uses text as a basic means of personal/family communication. If you have an iPhone wielding teenager who’s driving, I can’t think of a more important tool for them to have when they travel. Anything that can be done to lessen the amount of texting and driving that is being done on the roads is a good thing and Dragon Dictation is one of the best. Not only is it a time saver but more than likely, it’s been a life saver too.

The best part is Dragon Dictation is a FREE application for the iPhone/iPhone and is also available for Blackberry phones as well. You don’t even have to think about this one. Go get it.

The best adventures are not all that searchable. It is ok though. It’s not like a cell phone is an allowable basis of travel. Maybe this was just a clever foreword to convince you to visit my friend’s website. Doubtful.

Look. Grip then tip yo cup. A’ight?

On Confessions of Videogames Unplayed:
-Nate: So, your gaming conscience got the better of you, eh?
-Ian: More like a slow day at work. What would a gaming confession booth look like? Also, llamas.
-Nate: Probably like a regular confession booth, but with better graphics and a HUD.
-Ian: I suggest the booth have a giant reload button and a crappy Silent Hill puzzle involving some sort of numbers.
-Nate: Yeah, and if you fail the puzzle, the death song from Mario World should play.
-Ian: More like that youtube vid of every K.K. Slider song playing at once. Or the screech of satan that plays when you select Mario Party 8 on the Wii menu.
-Nate: Its gotta have HD graphics, though. and Friend Codes. Even though those two things will never go together. (Oh no he didnt!!)
-Ian: Hahaha a confession booth with friend codes! “I’m sorry, priest, I think I typed your number in wrong. Ok, wait. K, now we have to wait a day again to confirm.”
-Nate: There should also be little kids calling you gay over a loudspeaker.
-Ian: And a text chat window in the booth that lists every insult in streamlined web 2.0 shoutboxes.
-Nate: “yur gayzors!! OMGROFLFTWBBQ!!!!1!!”
-Ian: And the priest gets to type his insults in as he pretends to be sympathetic. And he’s allowed to punch people through the mesh when someone says something dumb.
-Nate: “Father, I’ve never played Kirby’s Dream Course.” BAM
-Ian: “I never played SoulCalibur because one button did an attack and another button did a slightly different attack.”
-Nate: “I never played House of the Dead because it looked scary.”
-Ian: “I avoided RockBand because Nickelback said it won’t make me a rocker.”
-Nate: “I just don’t understand Smash Bros. It’s too hard.”
-Ian: “I don’t play Doom because killing minions of satan will make me shoot up my school.”
-Nate: “I don’t play the Phoenix Wright games because real courtrooms don’t work that way.”
-Ian: “What the fuck is Ring of Red?”
-Nate: “Hi, Gamestop? Do you have any Wiis in stock?”
-Ian: “I refuse to play Shadow of the Colossus because, gawd there’s only like 16 bad guys in the game. I bet its only 15 minutes long. Jeez”
-Nate: “Left 4 Dead is stupid. I’m glad it’s not coming out for the PS3. Wanna play Pain?”
-Ian: “I LOVE Metal Gear Solid, but I refuse to buy the fourth one because of the cutscenes.”
-Nate: “I have to wait 2 MONTHS for Petz Ponyz 4?!”
-Ian: “halo and killzone are teh suxxors! Timesplitters is teh baby daddy jesus obama!”
-Nate: “Rumble Roses and DOA: Extreme Beach Volleyball are really deep.”
-Ian: “I wouldn’t play ninja gay-den because that chick’s tits weren’t big enough and not covered with enough oil goo.”
-Nate: “Mass Effect is hardcore pornography.”
-Ian: “Resident Evil 5 is racist and lets you rape women.”
-Nate: “Final Fantasy VII is the best game ever made. Also, I have lots of pics of Aerith and Tifa having sex.”
-Ian: “I wouldn’t play Final Fantasy 6 because the bad guy didn’t have long white hair, dressed in hot topic, and god I hate Mode 7 effects.”
-Nate: “I own several Superman games and the newest Turok.”
-Ian: “I check kotaku everyday for updates on dragonball: the movie: the game: evolution: the license: american version: 2009: Z.”
-Nate: “Ninjas could totally kill pirates because Naruto is a ninja.”
-Ian: “nuh uh! Pirates kill ninjas because Spike is a space pirate played by Keanau reeves in hotness Cowboy Bebop movie that can’t possibly drown in failboat!!”
-Nate: “I stopped playing Halo 3 when they stopped making Game Fuel.”
-Ian: “I refuse to play Trauma Center because I only believe in prayer as the cure for all diseases.”
-Nate: LOL, oh god, WINNER!
(more…)

If backstory were needed, it is here. Or you can go to nateserefine.com. But that was a trick. It is just my friend’s website.

*shrug*

On Boycotting:
-Nate: So, Lexi and I are looking for houses to buy.
-Ian: Very good. Where at?
-Nate: Dunno. Ann Arbor maybe.
-Ian: I so guessed that.
-Nate: That’s where us hipsters like to congregate. We play hacky sack and read poetry whilst drinking expensive beer and plotting to boycott everything.
-Ian: “Gee, Brain(*), what are we going to boycott tonight?”
-Nate: “Well, the auto industry is making somewhat of a comeback with electric cars… Aren’t those batteries poisonous? They could pollute our water!”
-Ian: Haha, you’re boycotting environmentally friendly things.
-Nate: It takes a real pro to do that.
-Ian: Next you should boycott water. Think of all the people who could be living in the great lakes if water wasn’t polluting the whole thing, making it uninhabitable.
-Nate: Or people could drown in it!
-Ian: That bastard. Water.
-Nate: It must be stopped. It and it’s pro-hydration agenda cannot be allowed to continue!
-Ian: Yep. Time to take a hair drier to lake michigan. Evaporate dat shit. Oh. And find a way to END RAIN.
-Nate: Hey, I don’t deal in solutions. All I do is bitch about shit with a holier-than-though attitude. Finding solutions ain’t my problem.
-Ian: Sounds like you need a consultant. A ninja consultant.
-Nate: Know anyone? I tried to look up ninja in the phonebook, but the page was BLANK!
-Ian: Try looking up ‘log’. They tend to turn into those. Avoid ‘turtle’. They’re not ninjas.
-Nate: Got it. Anyway, what would a ninja consultant even do for me? I already have a pirate on retainer.
-Ian: Ninjas flip out and kill people. They also attack gods. Ones in clouds, usually. Oh, and they hide. They hide A LOT! You were talking to one and, oh, wait, you’re not.

(more…)

Exiting college and/or army into our legitimate spirit-crushing jobs, our two heroes DJ Incompetent and SimpleNate engage in periodic text dialogues about nothing. Nate’s big bad iPhone chronicles these satisfactory bits where he throws them on a website that bares plugging: nateserefine.com

You may read our elegant philosophizing to your heart’s content.
1337 *eyeroll* acroyms and hip-rad slang got bracketized for readability.
My name is Ian. Pleased to meet you.

on current events:
-Nate: Did you sign up for the early NXE [New Xbox Experience] thing? Are you creating your very own Xii RIGHT NOW?!?
-Ian: Ugh… I’ll prefer for Live to crash in 2 days instead of now, thanks. I better be able to keep my gamerpic…
-Nate: You can. I have no tubes, so no update for me yet. RA 3 [Red Alert] got delivered, so when I get back I’m ready to kill commies whenever you are.
-Ian: Nice. Hit me up about it when you get back and I’ll go buy the game.
-Nate: I’ll be back Friday afternoon, but I probably won’t have much time to play this weekend. If you want to pick it up so we can play during the week, that’d be good.
-Ian: Yeah, I can probably swing that.
-Nate: If not, don’t worry about it. I can wait.
-Ian: Credit bill was less than expected. Also, Chrono Trigger hits next week. So I’d be buyin something anyway.
-Nate: Right on. I’ll hit you up for some full motion video (!!) cutscenes of hot girls in military uniform. Huzzah!
-Ian: Haha. Soul Cal[ibur IV] makes me jaded to hot chicks. Their FMVs better have breakaway clothing.
-Nate: You have a point, sir. Everything should have breakaway clothing that sounds like metal breaking. I should write a letter to my congressman asking for legislation to be passed.
-Ian: I know, right? I mean, my shirt is breakaway with unexplained metal sounds. When I throw my shirt on the floor at night it sounds like a crumbling tea set.
-Nate: When we do laundry, it sounds like a Ford F-250 assembly plant after squirrels get into the equipment.
-Ian: Hahaha. I know if I folded 8 pairs of socks, those can double as pistons for a V8 engine. I might go buy a bag of Hanes and rebuild my engine after work.
-Nate: Fuck, why WOULDN’T you? You could armor-plate it by wrapping it in a pair of jeans while you’re at it…
-Ian: Wrap some The North Face snow vests around an SUV. Call it a Hummer H4.
-Nate: It’s a wonder why people don’t already do this. It’s like luxury on top of luxury. Add in a latte and you have the ultimate douche.
-Ian: Dunno, man. Does this mean Chinese Sweat-shop workers are really steel mill operators? That would explain the mass pollution. and the gaaaaayyy
-Nate: According to Moe Sizlack, the entire steel industry is gay, so there you go.
-Ian: Sucks to be communist. No wonder they have 1 child per couple law… per gay couple.
-Nate: The child is gay, too.
-Ian: Werd.

(more…)