Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection
My oh my do I miss the good ole’ days of my youth. Back in those days, the internet was just getting started, and the flame war hadn’t even been conceived. Back in those days, there was no Microsoft, and there was no Sony. There were two companies: Nintendo and Sega (unless you were John, too busy loving the Atari Jaguar after “the incident”). And the young-uns out there like to talk about the current console wars, but those of us who lived through the greatest generation remember the single biggest, baddest, and bloodiest console war the world had ever seen: Super Nintendo Vs. Sega Genesis. Back in those days, the battlefield wasn’t on message boards or in the blogosphere, but rather on the playgrounds or in the cafeterias of this great nation’s schools. Here you could see and hear the battle raging all around you. I know because I was there. I was THERE, in the middle of that hell with my brothers around me, as I was a captain in the Sega army.
It wasn’t my decision. My parents made that decision for me on that fateful Christmas morning in the year 1991when they gave me my weapon of choice. And from that moment, I knew who my leader was as I marched straight to the front lines to fight for what was right and just. I still believe in the principles laid down by early Sega. The great visionaries who laid the groundwork for an entire empire which I helped pave with my piggybank. Those men rewarded my loyalty with a hero who could lead us to victory over the evil plumber and his fascist regime. Our fearless leader was a blue hedgehog named Sonic, and he fought along my side through the good and the bad. There were other heroes like Axel, Shinobi, Chaz, and Vectorman, but the deeds of these patriots pale to the heroics of Sonic.
Unfortunately our struggle was lost. Our leaders led us astray with far too many add-ons. Our failed surprise attack on the market during what was to be known as “Saturnday” failed miserably. When the Saturn needed resupply from Japan, our American generals had no faith in their abilities in combat and were thrown to the wayside. The small island nation of Working Designs kept the holdouts like myself supplied with the ammo we needed to fight back. However their batshit crazy dictator Vic Ireland was a greedy man who supplied our mysterious new enemy named Sony with arms as well, which was another nail in the coffin. All that were left after the unspeakable casualties banded together in one last desperate attempt to keep our sovereignty with Operation #9.9.99. At first we were successful, but Sony then crushed our final resistance, and we were forced to do unspeakable acts.
It hurts to think about what has happened to our once proud leaders. Shinobi and Shining Force went on to be shells of their former selves with Sony. Some moved onto Microsoft where they flourished with fantastic bravery but were completely ignored by their new home and perished. And Sonic…he never recovered. After the Dreamcast Blitzkrieg failed, he just kept trying and trying to relive past glory, but he was overworked. Last I heard he was drugged out in some back alley in Philly. To think my hero would let this happen to him. I can’t even bear the sight of him anymore. It just hurts too much. Old timers like myself like to remember the good ole’ days of yore. The 16 bit era stays in our memories as a sign of what could have been, and it’s great to see that there are indeed still people at Sega committed to keeping the memories of those lost alive in the form of Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection
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