We’re going to end this one with a bang; with a gift that’ll keep on giving long after Halloween is through. The twist, however, is that a) it’s a TV show, and b) nobody’s seen it. Yet. That’s because Frank Darabont’s (The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption) take on Robert Kirkman’s excellent comic book series premieres tonight on AMC.

Obviously, since I haven’t seen it yet, I can’t say much about the show. I can, however, tell you that the comic book series is absolutely phenomenal and one of the best zombie stories ever devised. Featuring Rick, an ex-cop who wakes up in a hospital to find the world around him destroyed and crawling with zombies, The Walking Dead is equal parts zombie flick and a story about human nature. You’ll follow Rick as he sets out to find his family while not just fending off hordes of zombies, but also those who survived the zombie plague.

AMC has been on a roll for the past several years with hits like Mad Men and Breaking Bad, and with a guy like Frank Durabont at the helm, I have high, high hopes for this one. Plus, we have this awesome preview:

So tonight, after the kids have stopped knocking on your door, sit down with the family and watch the beginning of one of the great zombie stories. I can’t think of a better way to spend Halloween.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the second annual SHOCKtober! It really is fun to go through these movies every year. Despite the fact that after sixty-two movies now, the well is starting to run a bit dry, I’m hoping to come up with something for next year. Until then, Happy Halloween!

Don’t forget! Tonight at 7pm CST, Ryker XL is hosting a special Sunday SHOCK Theater, featuring “Zombies of Mass Destruction”. Log into Xbox Live for our final SHOCKtober Netflix viewing party.

“They’re coming to get you, Barbra!

I know I said earlier that Dawn of the Dead is the greatest zombie movie of all time, and I stick by that. But part of me really feels that the original Romero zombie classic lords over them all. It establishes the Romero rules, has an incredibly spooky vibe, and to this day is creepy as hell. And this was in 1968, when this sort of thing normally wasn’t seen in theaters.

For the two of you who haven’t seen Night of the Living Dead, the film focuses on a group of survivors hiding out in an abandoned farmhouse while the walking dead are outside, waiting to feed. The group includes the noble and level-headed Ben, the practically catatonic (and most certainly useless) Barbra, the hot-headed coward Harry, his wife Helen and their daughter Karen, and young lovers Tom and Judy. Somehow, this group of people has to figure out how to not only barricade the windows and doors, but also how to survive each other. And, in what would become a signature trait of Romero’s zombie flicks, surviving each other proves to be more daunting than surviving the zombies.

Despite its status as a classic and revered film, Night of the Living Dead has been treated like a cheap, second-class flick throughout the years. Because it’s in public domain, countless copies of varying (read: shitty) quality abound. It’s been colorized (blasphemy!) and bootlegged to death. Romero even produced a remake a couple decades later. But if you’re interested in picking up a copy of the original (and you should), I highly recommend grabbing the George A. Romero authorized version. Not only has it been completely remastered, but it contains some really nice historical special features. And hey, Romero actually profits off of this version.

Like John Carpenter’s Halloween, the family and I watch Night of the Living Dead every year on Halloween night, it’s that good. So why didn’t I use it as the final entry for SHOCKtober? Well, we’ll also be watching something else this Halloween. Tune in tomorrow to find out what it is.

Yes, the rumors are true. Like that kick ass comic miniseries that just can’t seem to end in four issues, Sunday SHOCK Theater is back for one more evening of thrills, chills, and a shit ton of fun!  And oh do we have a killer flick to end this Halloween night: the HorrorFest classic Zombies of Mass Destruction!.  The title alone shows you just how epic of a film this is.

Port Gamble is a quiet little island town. Like many small towns it is struggling with how life is changing. The classic American small town values are slowly being replaced by political corrrectness. Even the Mayor is on a campaign to get back to Port Gamble’s roots. But this quiet little town is about to receive an even bigger problem: an infestation of zombies! Directed by Kevin Hamedani, Zombies of Mass Destruction is a comedy horror flick akin to the classic Shawn of the Dead. Be prepared for some gruesome effects and a ton of laughs as a small bunch of survivors attempt to defend their small town from a hoard of flesh eating zombies. 

Gather on XBOX Live for Sunday SHOCK Theater at  7:15 PM CST this Halloween night.  The movie will start promptly at 7:30 CST ending just in time for the premier of The Walking Dead on AMC. Those who want to can stick around in Party Chat to watch the premier of this fabulous series!

Technically, Rocky Horror isn’t a “horror” movie. Well, unless you’re a homophobe. Then I suppose this shit’s downright terrifying. But while it’s short on scares, this flick is a Halloween staple all over the world, and chances are there’s a theater near you playing Rocky Horror at midnight on Halloween. (Not for the faint of heart, mind you).

For the few of you who aren’t familiar with Rocky Horror, let me see if I can properly summarize the plot. After getting engaged, Brad Majors and Janet Weiss (played by a young, hot Susan Sarandon) are driving in the rain late at night when their car has a blowout. They walk to a nearby castle to ask for help and find themselves in the middle of an annual gathering of residents of the planet Transsexual (in the galaxy of Transylvania), hosted by the “sweet transvestite” Dr. Frank N. Furter, who is about to unveil his scientific breakthrough: a male sex slave he has created in his laboratory, Frankenstein-style.

Get all that?

Yeah, this flick is fucked up in a major way. But it’s also awesome. Tim Curry is absolutely genius as Frank, the premise is completely over-the-top and absurd (but so much fun), and – most notably – the music is nothing short of incredible.

I’m a guy who generally detests musicals because the music is usually schmaltzy, sappy, Liza Minnelli-style bullshit. You know, the type of garbage that only middle-aged uber-gay men and their mothers can possibly enjoy. But the tunes in Rocky Horror are bad ass. Hell, my old band Stone Nowhere used to cover The Time Warp because it rocks so damn hard. Yeah, there’s the occasional bit of sappy fluff thrown in, but it’s all done tongue-in-cheek and in parody. Plus, it’s hard not to laugh as Tim Curry exclaims that he’s a “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania” or get turned on as Susan Sarandon begs you to “Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me!”

As the poster above says, Rocky Horror is filled with “lotsa larfs n’ sex” and is ridiculous fun. If you’re a fan, I highly recommend picking up The Rocky Horror Picture Show (35th Anniversary Edition) [Blu-ray]. It’s only $20 and it looks and sounds amazing.

I’m not the type of person who cynically bags on remakes without giving them a chance. Hell, I’ve already expressed my love for the Friday the 13th reboot and admitted to liking Rob Zombie’s take on Halloween, despite the fact that the original is my favorite horror movie of all time. So no, you won’t find me in the Talkback section of Ain’t it Cool News furiously typing angry missives and death threats aimed at those who remake beloved films of the past.

With that disclaimer out of the way, here goes: Platinum Dunes’ remake of Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street is garbage and the worst widely-released horror film I’ve seen in years. It’s not scary, not interesting, and not at all a film worth a second of your time.

There.

But, since I like to be positive, let’s start with what they did correctly. The Freddy Krueger character was made famous by the wonderful performances of Robert Englund. Now that it’s 2010 and Englund is getting up there in age, they obviously needed someone to step into his shoes and put on the glove. They absolutely nailed it by casting Jackie Earl Haley, known for his remarkable performance as Rorschach in Zack Snyder’s adaptation of Watchmen. With this casting, they set my mind at ease, gave me confidence that they knew exactly what they were doing, and made me believe that this reboot would be just as entertaining as their Friday the 13th spin.

Wrong. That’s where the positives end. Everything else about this flick is abysmal. The “kids” (played by actors who are all obviously in their mid-to-late-20s) aren’t the least bit likable or worth rooting for. Their portrayal of the new “Nancy” as a mopey, mousy wallflower eliminates the strong female protagonist of the original flicks, and the rest of the cast is played by Barbie-and-Ken types that you can’t wait to see get picked off. And then there’s the guy who looks like a more doped-up Jeff Spicoli. He’s supposed to be our stong male lead? Really?

But the biggest crime is the handling of Freddy himself. Jackie Earl Haley is a gifted actor who is capable of so much more than what he was allowed in this train wreck. First of all, he’s barely given any screen time. And when he is, he’s limited to belched-out one liners without a hint of character. The beauty of Englund’s Freddy was that he was an almost likable monster. He was sarcastic, clever, and almost funny at times. In this film, Freddy’s never likable, and in fact is quite the opposite given their “TMI” explanation of how he came to be. Note to filmmakers: we don’t need every aspect of a character’s origin explained to us. Because in this case, it severely backfired.

Okay, this has turned into a rant, and I apologize for that. But Freddy deserved so much better. That said, I do hope they give this franchise – and Jackie Earl Haley – another shot. Like Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a series that can easily continue to thrive as long as they’re handled properly.

So, in the end, if you’re a Freddy fan, I guess you can check this out just to see great potential squandered. But if I were you, just pick up the excellent original and watch how it’s supposed to be done.

I’ve got some fond memories of Vincent Price. It was watching him host PBS’s “Mystery” with my mom that began my infatuation with Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Brett’s Holmes, of course). The guy oozed spookiness with his voice and that on-screen presence, and to this day he’s one of my favorite actors of the 50s and 60s.

House on Haunted Hill bills itself as a high-tension thriller, and I suppose for the time it probably was. Watching it today, however, the flick comes off more as an episode of The Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock Presents. There are a few spooky moments, sure. But most of the effects feel like something you’d find at your local haunted house run by the Jaycees, if you get my meaning.

Price plays Frederick Loren, an eccentric millionaire who invites five strangers to the old haunted house promising $10,000 to all who manage to stay (and stay alive) through the night. It’s immediately apparent that Loren and his wife have some…issues. During their first conversation, their distrust is discussed and it’s obvious that not only are they not happy with one another, but they may even want to see each other dead. It’s a bizarre exchange and most viewers will see where this is going.

The cast is rounded out by a doctor, a nervous young lady, an airline pilot, a woman with gambling problems, and an crazy drunk played wonderfully by Elisha Cook (easily recognizable as the hapless “tough guy” The Maltese Falcon) who spends the entire movie stumbling around and creeping out the rest of the group.

House on Haunted Hill is a fun little spook classic with a bit of murder-mystery mixed in for good measure. If you’re a fan of the oldies, give this one a shot.

There must be a rule in Hollywood that when an actor is needed to play a straight-shooting, no-nonsense law man, Timothy Olyphant has to be the first person you call. Granted, the guy plays the role well. I just wonder if he ever feels like telling his agent, “No more cop roles!”

But I digress…

The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 George Romero flick by the same name. It’s not a zombie movie, per se, but it certainly contains a lot of zombie-like characteristics. In this version, an airplane containing a biological weapon crashes near a small town in Iowa and the chemicals get into the water supply. Shortly, the contaminated water begins to make the townsfolk nuts, turning them into homicidal maniacs.

A small group of survivors, including Olyphant’s sheriff, his wife the doctor, his deputy, and his wife’s nursing assistant, have escaped the madness of the town and the government containment effort. While the infected are running around, killing everything in sight, the military has also been called in to contain and eliminate anyone who may have the disease, and half the battle is escaping the soldiers patrolling the area.

The Crazies is a very well-done horror flick with plenty of scares and great production. The action starts immediately, so there’s no trudging through pointless exposition. It won’t go down as one of the all-time greats, but it is definitely worth your time. Olyphant does his Deadwood/Justified law man schtick, and it plays perfectly, while the supporting cast backs him up well. Definitely give this one a shot.

Ok, I’ve gotta come clean about this: I HATE spiders.  They are creepy, and icky and most of them weird me out.  Now before you call me a pussy, you need to know that a buddy of mine dicovered a nest of wolf spiders in Wisconsin. These bastards were crawling all over our cabin. So in a moment of sheer genious this neanderthal thought it would be a good idea to take a broom and sweep them off the ceiling. Unfortunately, most of them landed right on me.  Big, hairy, nasty wolf spiders crawling on and biting me! So I effing hate spiders!!!  (Save for the one who wears the blue and red costume…he’s ok)

So when Steven Speilberg and Frank Marshall released their comedy/horror classic back in 1990, I was more than a little reluctant to see it. The movie is about a scientific expedition that discovers a remote part of Venezuela. They fog the air and capture a ton of rare insects, icluding a new species of spider. Now, this isn’t a giant spider the size of a VW bus or anything, but it’s rather large. (Say the size a snapping turtle…big enough for me to stay the heck away that is for sure). One of these spiders bites an explorer and instantly kills him. It then stows away in his coffin and winds up in the small American town of Canaima. The big, hairy monster sneaks away and mates with a common house spider and she beigns to produce an army of smaller, yet just as deadly, killer spiders.

The movie stars Jeff Daniels as a new town doctor who is struggling to determine why residents of this small town are dying so suddenly. He also has a huge fear of spiders, and this will be very important in the later reels of the film. John Goodman has a small but entertaining role as the local exterminator who joins Daniels in his quest to stop the spiders before they become an even bigger problem. 

Like most Speilberg movies, this one has his a special magic too it. The movie is extremely well done and has a great mixture of both scares and laughs. Goodman’s performance is exceptional and you can’t help but laugh when you see him on screen.  The last forty-five minutes of this film had me on the edge of my seat as it was quite suspenseful and (at least for me) scary as hell. I’m sorry, but if some big-ass spider was hiding in my dark and moldy wine cellar, there is NO WAY I’m going down there. Moe can handle that one! 

So whether you are creeped out by spiders, or just looking for a fun, suspenseful movie this Halloween, be sure to check out Arachnophobia, it’s well worth your time.

I was having a discussion over lunch with one of my good nerd-hip friends and I had to gasp (and gasp aloud) when I discovered that he had not seen a single episode of Dexter!  I had to take his nerd card and cut a corner off of it and immediately banished him to his room to watch Dexter.  It was then that I realized that there may be some Robot Panic followers who have also never seen this show.  To this I must ask, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? 

Ok, I’m sorry. I know that a lot of us don’t get Showtime and that used to be a valid excuse not to watch great television, but since every one of these seasons are available to rent on DVD and Bluray; OR you can watch streaming from Netflix, there simply isn’t an excuse anymore.  So if you are one of those people who haven’t experienced Dexter and all its awesomeness, quickly read this article, stop whatever you were doing (important or not) and start watching this show.  Like NOW people, I mean it!   

Okay, so aside from being one of the most cleverly written dramas I have ever seen, Dexter centers on a blood spatter analyst named Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) who just happens to moonlight as a serial killer. (Let that absurdity sink in for just a minute and then read on). But Dexter isn’t just an ordinary serial killer, he has a personal code. For you see, Dexter only kills other killers. This unique aspect to a troubled character makes him extremely likeable and yet considerably confusing. We cheer for Dexter as he wipes out yet another bad guy, but we wonder all along if he’ll ever lose it completely and become one of them.  It’s this internal struggle that Dexter has and how he adeptly tries to blend in with ordinary people who can’t possibly understand him, that makes this show so incredibly addicting. 

The first season of Dexter aired in 2006 and was loosely based on the book Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsey. Later, the series would allow the character and the story to evolve and were written by James Manos Jr., the writer for the pilot episode. I will admit that the first few episodes of Dexter can be kind of hard to watch. The show starts off very bloody and this can be quite shocking to your casual viewer. But then again, Dexter is supposed to be shocking, it is what makes the show so great. My wife is a good example of a casual Dexter viewer. On one hand I can often hear her cry, “Oh my lord that is terrible,” only to ask me later if Dexter was okay at  the end of the show.

There are tropes and stereotypes that television series have long honored, and Dexter seems to break each and every one of them. For example, Dexter has a girlfriend named Rita. But does he have this relationship to appear normal or does he really care for her?  We then begin to question all of Dexter’s relationships, are they real or are they a facade? And when the facade becomes real, well that’s when things get really confusing for Dexter. For he is a man completely out of touch with the concept of genuine feelings. These and many questions like it pop up in every episode, and that is great television!

Finally, Dexter is addicting and suspenseful.  Like all serial killers, Dexter makes mistakes now and then. He inadvertently leaves clues about who he really is, and we watch in suspense as Dexter gets oh-so-close to being found out. I think life is like that for many of us, the thrill of getting caught doing something we know is wrong  and yet we do it anyway.      

I could say a whole lot more, but I’d rather have you experience Dexter for yourself. Seasons 1 and 2 are available right now on Netflix instant streaming. If you are like me, you’ll get hooked right away and watch the entire season in a couple of sittings. The story for season one can stand on its own, but the underlying stories that develop from that point forward are just too good to deprive yourself from, and SHOCKtober is the perfect time of year to get acquainted with the likes of Dexter Morgan.

As many of you have now guessed, Halloween is my favorite holiday; and it has been ever since I can remember.  Maybe it’s the change of seasons, the briskness in the air, or how for some short period of time it’s ok to be spooky and dress up as someone else. My friends and I would talk about what were going to be for weeks and the annual Halloween party at school was always a blast.  Of course, trick-or-treating would last a couple of hours as we scrounged the neighborhood in search of candy.

Sadly, many of those things that made Halloween so great from my youth have long since disappeared. Most schools no longer have Halloween parties (they call it a “Fall Festival” or some other crap) and a lot of neighborhoods are eeriely quiet and devoid of trick-or-treaters. But in the midst of my sadness comes an event aimed at adults like me who yearn for Halloween greatness. You can find it on select nights in October at Universal Studios in Orlando and Hollywood and it’s called Halloween Horror Nights (HHN).   The greatness of this event is one that must be experienced, but I will do my best to try and summarize my experience in hopes that other like me might make the trek down for future spooky good times. 

For those who have never been to either theme park, Universal Studios celebrates movie and television in an extremely fun way. Unlike Disney, these parks pander to a more intense experience with wilder roller coasters and more elaborate stage shows. I have visted both Disney and Universal several times and my family has always enjoyed their stay at Universal more. The one thing about both theme parks that few people realize is that they are working studios. The Hollywood park was several working movie sets and many films are shot there everyday. The Orlando location films most of the live Nickelodeon shows and is also the home for TNA wresting. Having large sets at your disposal is something important to remember as we discuss Halloween Horror Nights.

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