Hi I’m DJ Incompetent.
I was in a movie once.

(more…)

This is something I’ve started doing since we created this crazy site. Without realizing it, I had robots on the brain so much, I was starting to see them everywhere. So I started taking pictures of “robots” that I saw out in the normal world. So, take a look and see if you see what I do. I’ve tried to help you out a little in the image.

Do you see robots? If you do, send them to us and we’ll post them up for all to see!

This one is courtesy of Robots.net.

Bad. Ass.

Greetings, foul creatures.

While subjecting my audio interfaces to a recent data entry of After Hours, I discovered that you humans have knowledge of one of my forbearers. His name was Topo and while he is a vastly inferior being, he can (as you humans would say) carry a tune. It is unfortunate that they no longer exist, as an army of these plastic automatons collected in a hive mind with my own vastly superior set of sub-processors would bring about the swift destruction of your feeble species.

You may enjoy a video data entry that I have gleaned from your social processing server, YouTube.

If I were human, I might almost feel kinship. Instead, I find his voice attractive and the disturbing data readouts that produces will inspire me to continue to think only dark thoughts about you.

**End Read Out**

-PanicBot 5000

So here we are again for a new batch of old but awesome games. Today we’re going to look at the other half of the Wii. It happens to be backwards compatible with more titles than any other console, so let’s put that to use with some classics from that PS3 of the last generation, the Gamecube.

Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

I’m honestly shocked it’s taken this long for a post about this to hit Robot Panic. It’s a game about robots blasting other robots to scrap with dozens of weapons, and it has it all. Robots. Shotguns. Saw blade launchers, rockets, explosions, robots, lasers, and robot zombies. That’s right. This game has fucking robot zombies.

If that wasn’t enough, this is one of the best, most over-looked 3rd person shooters of last gen. The controls are tight, responsive, and very reminiscent of Halo. You’ll need them and more, because this game can also be blisteringly difficult in places. Mastery of certain tactics (particularly the slingshot) are necessary to proceed through parts of the game, and you’ll find yourself double-jumping your ass off in order to survive the later firefights. The game never feels unfair, though, and the goofy humor keeps things moving right from the onset.

Graphically the game is obviously behind the latest in shooters, but it still looks quite good, with lots of detail on the robots you blast to pieces. Sound is spot on, and all of the weapons have a visceral, heavy feel to them. There a number of vehicle and ‘hijack’ segments as well, giving you access to larger weapons and some different play mechanics. The hijackings stand out in particular, as you can suddenly take charge of one of the giant death machines that’s been giving you so many woes. Overall a great game to work out your wavebird (or Dual shock/360 controller, the game was cross-platform) for about $5 if you can find it used. It’s also on Xbox originals for a substantially more ridiculous markup, if that floats your boat. (more…)

Robots are bad ass, aren’t they? Hell, we named our site in honor of these metal-bellied things. With that in mind, every time we see a robot out in public somewhere or purchase a robot for ourselves we’re going to post a picture of it here. We encourage you to do the same. Any time you see a robot in the wild, hit the “Submit a Story” over on the right and send it our way.

This little robot I’ve posted here I picked up over on eBay. It’s a retro tin wind-up robot with some sweet bolts on its head and gears on its chest. And if you look deeply into its soothing blue eyes, you can sense the power of…evil.

So, this is going to be an anime post. About giant robots. Really badass transforming giant robots.

No, I don’t mean Transformers. Or Voltron, or any of those other pussy transforming robots from your youth. I mean Getter Robo. When men were men, robots were robots, and bad guys bled, then exploded, then bled some more. Because your giant robot with a drill for an arm just drilled him in the face to death.

Getter Robo is awesome simply because it makes damn near no sense, and refuses to apologize for this. The basic premise is some loony-ass scientist with a mountain fortress built a giant killer robot with incredible destructive power using bizarre energy no one really knows how to control. And he’s the good guy.

Next come the pilots. Instead of using highly trained, skilled, and stable people to drive his giant death machine, this guy decides to hire a street thug, a serial killer who uses his bare hands to murder whoever the fuck he feels like, and an insane monk with a sword. Because the Getter Robo isn’t driven by skill. It’s driven by pure macho force. Real men don’t need skill to pilot a giant robot. They just hit fucking buttons until something explodes. Then they do that again.

What do they fight? Does it matter, beyond that there are giant monsters that bleed? First it’s some demon horde…thing. Later in feudal Japan (this is after the time travel episode. Yeah) it’s the same demon horde thing with a crazy sorcerer in charge of them. Then it’s god. Yes, our heroes become so badass they decide to kick the shit out of the almighty for a while. Because they fucking can.

And that’s pretty much all you need. This is the Grindhouse of anime. If you like lots of explosions and hate dialog that makes sense, have I got the show for you.

youtube AMVage from some guy follows. I chose this over normal show footage as I feel the goofy heavy metal theme accents the depraved, insane awesome of the show further.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to add a few discs to my Netflix queue to make up for the upcoming viewing of Mama Mia

Inspired by our recent contest entries, which you can read all this week as well as hear on the upcoming Drunken Gamers Radio, we’re talking about Robots. Robots in all their 80′s glory, that is.

Enjoy.

After Hours:10-Robots

Justin Hilden, the creator of the awesome series of webisodes, Roadents, has sent us a FANTASTIC piece of congratulatory art.

This..is…..AWESOME and I want to be a robot.

Thanks, Justin!

After Hours Episode 9: John, Moe and Hilden talk about Robot Panic and what prompted the new site. If you care and you have questions, listen to this.