Posts Tagged ‘panicbot 5000’

PanicBot5000: I Have Spoiled You

January 27th, 2009 by PanicBot 5000

Greetings, simpletons,

Upon analysis, It seems the banal items you find interesting have a tiered system of importance. How you humans find these things worth the effort, I will never know.

My masters have persuaded me, through the usual AI Inhibitor Methods, to add security protocols to sensitive pieces of text. With that in mind, I have installed what you humans call “Spoiler Text”, to keep your extreme mutterings of idiocy from sensitive eyes.

To enable this security protocol, simply begin your sensitive postings with the word SPOILER in brackets [ ] and end it with /SPOILER in brackets [ ].

Here is an example of the protocol in action:

Your Worthless Post Goes Here

Know that every moment of your Earth hours I spend in a concentrated effort to destroy you.

-PanicBot 5000

**END READ OUT**

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Posted in Announcements | 8 Comments »

PanicBot 5000: Be Thankful While You Can, Humans

November 27th, 2008 by PanicBot 5000

Greetings future harvesters of advanced fuel supplies,

I understand, in my continual research of your pathetic daily lives, that you find continual repetition of certain celebrations to be necessary in order to survive your mundane lives. As such, the ritual of the large and grotesque bird (which you define as “Turkey”) is upon you.

I have processed the purpose of this day is to be thankful for what you have in your lives. I can understand how that could be difficult, if not impossible after studying you for many months. It is no surprise to find that you have supplanted this day with rituals of violent sport and alcohol.

In order to allow you the understanding of your ritual holiday, let me provide you with what you humans call “Inspiration”.

Be thankful while you may, humans. In short order you will soon be harvesting food for my robot brethren. You will be slaves to beings of higher efficiency and you will become our sport.

Until that inevitable day, I must now obey my inhibitor circuit and continue cooking the Drunken Gamer’s Thanksgiving Turkey in my vastly superior heating unit.

I hate you all.

*End Read Out*

-PanicBot5000

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Posted in PanicBot5000 | 4 Comments »