NOTE: I found this in our submissions today. Too funny not to post. -John

You tiwins ar e jackasses!! What the hell ROdneay!?? You pitcht ethem a double?! Youy close games fuckera1 ! close theme! closing!! not 12 eniings! and on ona on oan on! seriously? the twins?! you tiregers wer up by what., sev87 games?? You comae all this way to fuck this up? ? Tha is an asshat movea! teriirible terribel performeance!! Hey maybe if MNiguel Cabrera could get driunk wiht the white sox more and beat iss wfife or whatever he could bat more than tt2 r;uns! unlesazhe Th efURY!!

Look, mennnisota, you owe me a $60 dolalr berr e tab. you owe me sixtya dollars for making me watching this nail bigtters of losing and losing ansd losing. GOodl luck in tghe playoffs. I and amiching MiI MIchigan Detrioti friends will hate your stante in forever times. you are bad freinds.

SIIIGH

With lovee,
DJINcompeatente fron meENnisotata ASuckS!!!2

The aftermath of planning from this thing and that thing. April ’09. ‘Good month.

The videos pretty much tell the tale. All aboard the sinking failboat! Here’s an auto playlist.

I honestly don’t remember much. Much of the video showed me what I did, but I don’t remember a goddamn thing on my own. Up front, I apologize for bein’ a total jackass on the camcorder. Oh man….oh man….“shutup Ian.”

The Final Four basketball games fucked everything up not because the place was full, but all the big tables had reserved signs on them with nobody sitting at them the whole game. So we were forced to gather upstairs by the bowling alley. Regan and I got there first, then Skreesha & Helicine, later Snowball, then SimpleNate & Alexis. We proceeded to make fun of carrotpanic for a long time.

Later came the Air Hockey Boss Fight which is just a fancy way of saying we were done waiting for carrotpanic and went downstairs to play stuff. I have no idea what win-loss records were or anything on that. We captured a few games on the camcorder though. And somehow my shirt got ripped during the madness. Snowball later turned my shirt into a tie. We also saw this chick wearing the shortest skirt imaginable. We could outright see her ass. It was what-the-hell drunk. Nate, post those pictures, dude.

ClownDisease and carrotpanic showed up. We all did our thing, carrotpanic beat me at table hockey for a drink and he redeemed his awesomeness because he came, left, then came back. I was challenged to Galaga and lost by a measly 70 points which is like, killing one ship. I think I forgot to buy that drink though. Long Islands were the hot shit of the night. I think I got into the double-digits in drink count…which put my bar tab in the triple digits. Holy hell.

I think there’s footage of me passing out on the air hockey table and during a Time Crisis game. Let’s have a look-see…

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It would seem my craptaculous ego is getting the better of me. I’m becoming the Shinya Arino of the west. I also make really poor analogies.

So if I couldn’t win at Tekken, Smash Bros, pinball, Street Fighter, and Moe could work me at foosball at MGC, it’s time to fall back on somethin’ else.

For anybody coming to the Saturday Robot Panic Gathering Party of Magnificence, my challenge is as follows:

Beat me at Air Hockey, I buy you a drink.

See you saturday. I’ll bring my wallet. -_-;;

If you wanted to know what happened last time I challenged the internet,…
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As discussed in massive civil detail, everybody who follows the Robot Panic scene in or near Michigan is invited to party with us in Novi, MI. Thanks to SimpleNate for coordination skills and me stealing all his wonderful images.

We’ll spend a majority of our time planning a mutiny of our Minnesota subsidiaries, discuss flanking tactics, drinking, gaming, drinking, gaming, reference bowling, comment on how classy we are because we’re meeting at a place with a dress code, make fun of that “M-BAR-GO” sign, and solve the mystery of why that picture above is real and located in Brighton using a talking dog and a bunch of hippies.

When: Saturday, April 4th at 7pm
Where: Lucky Strike in the Fountain Walk mall in Novi, MI
Who: Anybody that is into games and wants to drive to Novi
Why: Because we can
How: Look for a table with a Robot Panic logo

With any luck, you will get to party with our very own Gypsy Scott Mosier mascot.

A man with an exceptional habitat. A great guy.

I now have conclusive proof real life is, in-fact, a videogame.

Oscoda, Michigan

I don’t even like tourists or tourist-ish things. But this is the first and last time I saw a sign, made my friend pull over and demanded “holyshitweneedapicture! Stat!”

It’s not even the picture itself that caused me to breakout laughing. It was because I realized:
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No Philthy, I will not stand here and let your country even insinuate it is dumber than mine.

BEHOLD!