I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. And I did this for you, dear readers. While waiting to pay for my comics at the local comic book shop, I decided to grab a little something to drink. And in the impulse-buy cooler located conveniently next to the check-out counter, I spotted these two little beauties:

How could I resist the temptation?

So I coughed up the two bucks each, threw the drinks in my bag, brought them home and chugged them down. And now my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. And it’s no wonder, look at the color of this shit:

For those wondering, it’s hard to say which one tasted better…or worse. Both the Megaman E-Tank and the Pac-Man Bonus Fruit Energy Drink tasted like some sort of sugar/fruit explosion and the flavors were unrecognizable thanks to the burning sensation it left as it seared down my throat.

So I just saved you four bucks and blood in your urine. You’re welcome.

You party people have been soaking up the new megaman game, correct? Embrace it? Complain about it? All that good stuff. So somewhere in them menus is the ability to play as some 8-bit Proto Man for a couple spacebucks. Blocks shit, receives double damage, flies back 100 feet when hit like a bad 90′s wire-fu flick. Good ‘ol DLC. Can I have two dollars for your thoughts? Oh, you’re gonna give me $7 worth of thoughts. Pages and pages and pages of gaming forum bitching over a choice of a two dollar purchase that isn’t a critical patch. It’s fascinating. It’s not that I’d take a side on this issue, but I do remember buying (read: begging mommy as a small child) to buy a Megaman cartridge, two or three of them at least. All of them $50~$60 a game. And that was way back when the dollar was worth somethin’!

*shakes cane angerly at surrounding whippersnappers*

Back to topic, this isn’t the first time you could play as Blues. 8-bit yeah, but whatever. Fuck that noise. If you read up on my offer to buy Megaman Anniversary Collection, all you see below you can be yours.

Then there’s that article title. A Superplay is a perfect run of a videogame. A Mix is a collection of songs matched together in a string of my choosing. A Superplay Mix is a No Miss Clear with a totally different soundtrack. Hey man, I told ya I didn’t give a shit for nostalgia. It’s not like Capcom was matching the proper stage songs to all the correct bosses anyway.

The other arcade game is after the jump.

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That’s right folks, I bring some slightly disturbing news that will I’m afraid blow your minds. Consider yourselves forewarned: once seeing this you cannot unsee it, understand? Right, well it’s been brought to my attention that the much-discussed and much-maligned (by the Drunken Gamers) band Journey may have in fact influenced one of my favourite gaming themes of all time.

We’re talking Elecman from Megaman 1. I bring to you the disturbing evidence courtesy of some cruel folk on Youtube.com

It’s uncanny and wrong. Screw this I’m going back to enjoy Megaman 9.

Philthy

I’ve always made it a point to try and avoid games where everything is “happy” and “childish.” There were always two exceptions by character. Kirby and Megaman. Kirby is always a good time because no matter how cute it gets, you can always beat the shit out of a ton of little enemy bastards in a billion different ways at any speed you can handle. Megaman is kinda more of an enigma though. I don’t really dig at retro things just for the sake of being retro. Whenever a nostalgia buff drags on about something of 20 years past, I picture in my head a montage of female 1980s hairstyles. Not really the ones from old movies, but the ones still currently used. The soccer mom suburbia ones. So if my attitude about the whole thing is “dude, let it go,” what about the Rockman? What’s his appeal? Any hardware upgrade the guy got cranked the age-appeal down just a little bit further into the single digits and after they gave him the voice of a tranny not yet in puberty, all hope was lost. Then came the unholy hellspawn spin-off stepchildren where you’d think someone along the way would decide to finally tie a decent story into the whole thing, but that never quite made the budget. I took my chances with the X series. That was cool, until it sucked, and then everything was named after Guns ‘n Roses for some reason, then it sucked a little harder, then it got pretty cool again.

What does Capcom do after knowing it’s turned the icon into some Pokemon card battle Neopets quasi-phenomena to the eight year-olds and the other 99% of their potential audience only remembers Mega Man 2? Fuck it, do it in 8-bit. Let’s bring out the 80s hair in everyone and charge a 10-spot. Do I bite? Yeah, why not. I have $10 and Megaman is the background picture screen saver thing on my phone for the past two months for some reason. ‘Suppose I kinda have to.

Little did I know they were all about staying near Megaman 2. Here’s what you probably wanna know…maybe: (more…)