00:00-Show Intro
04:54-Drunk Dials
13:05-Mailbag
19:20-Game Room Review (XBLA)
29:23- Cho Aniki Zero Review (PSP)
35:10-Cave Story Review (WiiWare)
39:47-Double Feature Presentation
Shmuppreciation Contest
1:04:05-Shmopera Finale
1:14:14-Five Things
1:32:30-The Last Shot
1:33:33-Show Close
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Muscle March is a $5 download from Nintendo’s WiiWare service and I can’t recommend it enough. In addition to my perverse love of all things muscle-bound and oily, the game is pure fun. It contains the “WTF?” laughs of the most demented Cho Aniki game, crossed with the simple arcade-style gameplay of popular Dreamcast arcade titles like Crazy Taxi or Samba de Amigo. Indeed, the visuals look exactly like something out of the Dreamcast era, which could account for half of my enjoyment.
The premise is this: a giant bottle of protein has been stolen from the local gym. The patrons of said gym (a hilarious cast of bulging, g-string-wearing hulks and hulkettes) now must chase the thief through the streets in order to regain the protein and continue their workout regimen. But not only does the crook haul ass through the streets, he also barrels right through walls. And this is where the main gist of the game comes in. You must match the pilferer’s pose as you chase him through walls, signs, and other solid objects. To do this, you use the Wii Remote and Nunchuck adapter to make the different poses, of which there are four: both arms up, both arms down, right arm up/left arm down, and left arm up/right arm down. Each level begins with the characters running along a predetermined path (on rails) quite slowly, gradually picking up steam over time until you have only seconds to match the pose. The level culminates in a frantic controller-shaking segment until you and your cohorts tackle the thief, forming a giant, sweaty pile of man meat.
And that’s really all there is. Yes, there’s multiplayer, and yes, it’s just as hilarious. But you’re not getting anything deep here. What you’re getting are some cheap laughs and simple gameplay, and it’s well worth the $5.
I fell like Nintendo has been dragging their asses promoting games on WiiWare, and were it not for the weekly “Nintendo Downloads” thread over on NeoGAF I never would’ve noticed Muscle March. Hopefully someday they pull their heads out of their asses and promote some of the great, quirky games they have in that library. I know the developers would appreciate it.
