Last year, I compiled a list of perfectly reasonable excuses to hate NFL football. Personally, I love the game. I love watching it, I love the atmosphere, I love sitting around the television with my family, snacking, drinking, and enjoying Sunday afternoons. But sweet mother of god, there are so many reasons to hate this shit. It’s gotten to the point where I hit the mute button during commercial breaks, and sometimes even during game play. Because, let’s face it, it’s an obnoxious spectacle. So at the risk of beginning a tradition, here is the 2009 Season Edition of “Good Reasons to Hate NFL Football”.

The Fox Football Robot

More of a threat to humanity than The Terminator.

Seriously Fox: what the fuck? Listen, we like robots, okay? We named our site for the damn things. But this idiotic dancing abomination has to be the worst and most pointless mascot of all time. When the Fox Robot’s not doing warmups and pumping himself up into some sort of ‘roid-rage tizzy, he likes to do karate moves and even play air guitar.

How the hell did he even come into existence? I can just imagine some douche walking into a meeting at Fox Sports…

“Say guys? I’ve got this nephew who sits around all day smoking pot. But he’s really good at computer animation. Can we give him a job?”
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This is just strange, but it’s way too hilarious to pass up. In an effort to demonstrate my religion isn’t going do develop intelligence anytime soon, this place LoveGodsWay.org is trying sell its music by proclaiming:

“One of the most dangerous ways Homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents, please keep careful watch over your children’s listening habits. Especially in this age of Internet mp3 piracy.

There are multiple levels of Gay Music. Some bands are what we like to call Gateway Bands. They lure children in with Pop Grooves and Salacious Melodies leaving them wanting more. They’ll move on to more dangerous bands and the next thing you know you’ve got a homosexual for a child.

We’ve taken the time to highlight the bands that are particularly Gay. Please take the time and dissect your child’s CD / iTunes catalog. If you find 3 or more of these bands in their collection it is time to take action.
We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs. Make sure your child is watching. Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds. They need to know that if they continue to listen to these bands they may Burn eternally as well.”

Oh! Oh! Do you wanna see the list they came up with? Do you? Is Journey on there???

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Hey folks. Sorry to disturb your holiday weekend, but there’s just a small change to Robot Panic that I’d like to draw your attention to.

Digg.com, while not giving us a huge load of traffic, is something that we’ve actively tried to promote using on the site. Recently, Digg.com added a component to their site called the DiggBar. I’ll let someone far more qualified do the job of describing this to you. This is from John Gruber over at the wonderful site, Daring Fireball.

Last week Digg released something they call the DiggBar, which serves as both a new interface for Digg and doubles as a URL shortening service. The way it works is that you just add “digg.com/” at the beginning of any URL, and Digg creates a short URL in the form of digg.com/1234. Here’s an example DiggBar URL that points to google.com: http://digg.com/d1nYVs. Further, the Digg homepage now links to these DiggBar URLs rather than linking directly to other web sites.

But unlike normal URL shortening services, when you load these Digg URLs, rather than redirect you to the original URL, Digg loads a page which frames the content of the original site. As a user, what you see is that the URL in your browser’s location field remains digg.com/1234, and the content of the destination site loads underneath a Digg-branded toolbar.

This, of course, is total bullshit.

John couldn’t have put it any better as far as I’m concerned. And while we, again, don’t get a ton of traffic from Digg, I think this is such bullshit that I’m implementing a few changes around here.

First off, we’ve incorporated a plug-in created by a man named Phil Nelson called DiggBarred in our WordPress installation that essentially blocks the ability of Digg to hijack anything off our site. Secondly, you’ll notice that the link to Digg.com at the bottom of all our posts has been removed because, frankly, fuck them.

If you’re a big Digg user, you may want to communicate to them that this is pure bullshit in no uncertain terms.

Thanks again for reading and enjoy your holiday weekend.

Hypetrains. What the hell, man? They’re long, they’re grueling, and to Mr. Public Relations guy, what the hell you doin’ announcing a product I gotta wait 6 months or 3 years to touch?

But it’s ok, mang. The flipside tells me PR teams say some wackjob things.

The objective here is one of our A-Team finds a PR statement from a hypetrain PR rep. Then we play with it, reacting with entertaining, thought-provoking, or interesting comments. Like a forum post, but coming from inside the Robot Panic equivalent of the Conan O’Brien Show’s Writer’s Room. I suppose that equivalent would be huddled around the flaming oil barrel with the T1 connection Rev. Darkradish currently resides at.

Let’s Training!!! Today we fire some warning shots…

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