I know the world doesn’t need another blog. Case in point, the current drivel you happen to be reading. But when an old High School friend pointed me in the direction of the blog Fuck You, Penguin, I just had to check it out. It’s now on my daily trawl of sites I must visit and my world is a much better place because of it.

According to the subtitle, Fuck You, Penguin can best be described as:

“A BLOG WHERE I TELL CUTE ANIMALS WHAT’S WHAT”

And the blog also reminds you that:

“FUCK YOU, PENGUIN IS FOR THE CHILDREN”

Here’s a quick excerpt from an entry entitled “What conceited meerkats really want to do is direct”. This post follows a picture of a meerkat standing behind a camera:

“Oh my God, you little highly social jerk off. It’s not enough that you get your OWN FUCKING SHOW, you have to be Ansel fucking Adams with the camera. But this is exactly what happens when animals get too popular, it all goes to their heads and they start to think they should be running the show. Guess what, Meerkat? NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR POOR USE OF NEGATIVE SPACE. And yeah, your exploration of morality in a post-9/11 society would be much more impactful if you weren’t a fucking cannibal, you sicko.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Robot Panic approves.

As I was making my weekly comic run, I noticed some cards at the check out counter. Picking one up, I found it pointed to a blog about comics called Read Comics.org. I figure it’d be something more than a few of you readers may be interested in.

It looks like the site features comic reviews, a comic book club, some comic news as well as a run down of the author’s pull list for the week. Looks like they’ve also got a podcast going which is called the Read Comics.org Podcast. Go figure. It’s great to have another site that has comics as it’s focus and they’ve got some good things to say. Go ahead and add it to your blog crawl for the day.

You can find it here.

Greetings. After a brief holiday hiatus the blogsperiment has returned. When last we left off, Stabitha was approaching the super duper mart, in search of experience and a serviceable weapon beyond the sledgehammer stolen out of the sheriff’s house. More on that later.

The super duper mart proved to be fairly easy with a melee character, mostly because enemy raiders like to charge face-first into sledgehammers. After I took some hits I headed to the back room and turned the protectron loose on what was left. It was only after all of this that I learned of Stabitha’s fatal weakness; shotguns.

The last raiders had a combat shotgun (blame my meteoric ascension to level 4), and carved me a new asshole with it. With a a lot of stimpacks and a little patience I managed to bring him down, but damn. Shotguns hurt. From now on I carry a hunting rifle with me. No, I can’t hit for crap with it with my small gun skill of 20, but I can still manage a sneak attack.

Anyway, raiders all dead, it was time to collect my real reward for fighting through this crap. In the back of the store I also found two laser pistols, which I managed to cobble together a functioning ranged weapon that uses my chraracter’s skill. Huzzah.

5. The trip back to the sadistic witch was uneventful. She rewarded me with some food and acted like nothing had happened. Nothing! After I go out and get shot full of holes trying to follow her braindead research project. And while I’m swimming in old ammunition, the batteries for my laser pistol are dwindling. Of course Moira charges more for those than anything else. Bitch

Her next insane scheme involves me taking on a lethal dose of radiation and telling her how it feels. I’m going to take a rest, then tell her just where she can shove her stupid book and her idiot research

[DANGER] Pipboy 3000 has detected hazardous radiation exposure to user! Please close journal v1.9 a and seek immediate medical attention.

[EMERGENCY] Pipboy 3000 has detected critical levels of radiation. Seek immediate medical attention. Would you like to browse various styles of wigs and dentures in the vault network outlet? [Y/N]

[!] .Pipboy 3000 has detected fatal radiation levels. Please make peace with your chosen diety and prepare for the inevitable. Thank you for choosing Pipboy.

Or the lunatic will shove me into the irradiated pond at the edge of town and let enough rads flow into the crack in my head that she can conduct her research. Moira said it was for the good of the wasteland the whole time. I know what needs to happen now. I’ll help her with her quest, because she’ll help me.

Then I’ll blow her head off.

Megaton seems to be designed to be pillaged in many ways. In a matter of hours one can accumulate a vast amount of wealth from the city, then detonate it quite happily. My only real obstacle in my looting has been Deputy Steel. See, Simms’ key doesn’t just open his house and access to a bobblehead, it also gets you into the armory, which is full of guns and angry robot. Angry robots can be quite painful even at the mighty level of four, which is why I bring grenades for these situations. Apparently the townspeople didn’t hear the multiple explosions in the giant metal building in their town, or thought better of asking, because sadistic little Moira was happy to buy back the contents of the armory. No laser weapons in here, though. I’ll have to do some more thorough hunting for those.

Until next time.

And so we begin.

My character build for this play-through shall be as follows:

Strength: 4
Perception: 6
Endurance: 5
Charisma: 4
Intelligence: 8
Agility: 7
Luck: 6

To start I’ve tagged melee, speech, and sneak. Oh, and my character has a vag.

Metgaming it, my plan is to sneak around trouble until I beef up my energy weapons skill, using melee as a backup. Speech will be ignored as a tactical option in favor of Science! and lock-picking. Early perks will go towards beefing up Int in order to maximize skill points.

As for the character type I’ve chosen to play, I’ll leave that up to the entries to show. Some parts will be obvious, Others less so. These first few entries are designed to give you some background on the character from the creation point, before I start the play-through.

Enjoy.

1: Daddy says I should keep a journal now, because I’m a big girl now and Mr. Broch says the practice will be good for me.

Butch tried to pull my hair again today, so I hit him in the balls. Having the talk with Dad was good for one thing at least. He called me a bad name and then went to the cafeteria. Butch doesn’t go home much now unless it’s to sleep. The Overseer and his mom had to have a long talk one night while Butch was crying. We’re all supposed to pretend that didn’t happen. Butch’s mom doesn’t come out of their room much anymore.

We learned about wars today, and why we had to fight the Commies. I don’t know how there got to be so many of them, because they were so wrong. I’m glad we nuked them.

(more…)

Greetings plebians. Some of you may have wonders where I have vanished to.  Others are now saying “Hey, I remember him. He wasn’t very funny.” and are now clicking away.

…fuckers.

My absence has been due to Fallout 3. Well, some work, but more the Fallout 3. As I don’t see this obsession ending anytime soon, I decided to take advantage of my second play through to provide something different. Well, as it’s game related and on this site, less different and more of the same thing.

Anyway, onto the idea.

This play through will be blogged. At certain times I’ll request input, and allow you to guide my character’s decisions through the wastes. Each chunk of playtime will be written from this character’s point of view. This will be my combination review/creepy fanfic path through the game, given life by your will.

Also, there’s swag.

It’s nothing particularly noteworthy or rare, but I have accumulated a decent amount of Falloutish swag over the last year or so, and frankly, I don’t have this much space. So, responses which make the blog and I find suitably amusing shall receive an item of said swag. No, I’m not getting more specific than this.

All in all, I see Fallout 3 as not just an openworld game, but a horrible, diseased, mutant-filled canvas on which to paint a story of homicide and pie jokes. And with some help, that’s what I intend to do. The first step shall be character creation. And here is where I’ll ask for the first bit of input. I have selected (read, made up in a drunken stupor) some character concepts, and I’ll ask you to vote for your favorite. This shall be the character I begin the game with. Suggestions on stats/attributes/perks are also welcome. (more…)