Posts Tagged ‘bayonetta’

Crazy Japanese Contest Entries

February 22nd, 2010 by John

As promised, here they are – unedited – the entries for our Bayonetta contest. Thanks to all who entered and thanks to BenFromOhio for donating the prize.

Oh…and NSFW!!!

Trashonetta

I took the dump truck boss idea and ran with it. Or stole it. Whatever.

Character name: Trashonetta (aka Yuki Yoshiharu)

Sex: Female

Design: Trashonetta is a based on a front loading garbage truck with a clam shell style rear dump. Once just a typical school girl, she was transformed when she was hit by a trash truck full of radioactive waste. After the accident the corrupt politician who was driving put her body in the back of the truck and then abandoned them both in a remote field. In the back with the trash and the radioactive waste, Yuki was left for dead but instead she was transformed and mutated. She grew to stand at just over thirty feet tall and she gained horrible, trash based, powers. She now wears the trash truck like a dress with its headlights as a bra, its clam shell rear door covering her behind and its wheels as roller skates. Her hair is a giant wadded up newspaper that sits on her head like an afro and her hands a dumpsters.

She has three attacks. The first is a basic laser attack from her headlights and the second is a throwing attack where she scoops trash out of her head and throws it at you. For her main attack Trashonetta stops, sticks her butt out at you and looks over her shoulder, touching her fingers to her lips with a “Oh, I’m so naughty!” look. As she does this the rear door of the truck opens with a “BEEP BEEP BEEP” revealing her shapely ass. Soon after this a cloud of noxious gas is released, dealing a great deal of damage to the player and doubling him over so he can’t fight back. It is during her main attack that Trashonetta is vulnerable and the player must run up to her ass and melee attack it in order to defeat her.

Katsumi Clamidia-Son

Here is my entry for the crazy Japanese character contest. It is slightly shocking but I hope it will explain a few things.

Name: Katsumi Clamidia-Son

Gender:Female

Description:Katsumi Clamidia-Son is a crazy bitch. At a glance she appears to be a fairly average person. She has long flowing brown hair, delicate hands, oversized breasts and is extremely overweight. She wears a school girl uniform to help compensate for the fact that she is in her mid forties, overweight and single. These attributes do have a negative effect on the performance of Katsumi Clamidia-Son but she can easily overpower any man. Beneath her uniform lies her very powerful secret. Katsumi Clamidia-Son has a large growth protruding from her vaginal area. This growth has a mind of its own and must be taken care of as if it were a child. The scientific term for this growth is a shrimporis but is commonly referred to as a shrimp by Katsumi. This growth is named after the commonly eaten shrimp and both have a similar smell.

When stimulated the shrimporis grows to an enormous size and devours Katsumi’s enemies. This growth has also been passed on to Katsumi’s offspring who goes by the name of Jessica Chobot. When feeding her shrimp a chipmunk Katsumi misplaced the poor creature and was impregnated a day later. Jessica has the shrimporis of her mother and the cheeks of her father which are perfect for stuffing full of nuts. Jessica cannot take part in traditional intercourse because her shrimporis would tear the poor bastard’s dick clean off leading her to become a master of oral sex.

Well that is it…….

Sincerely,
Sunamic
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Drunken Gamers Radio: 01.10.2010

January 13th, 2010 by Hilden

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SHOWNOTES

00:00-Show Intro
04:47-Drunk Dials
16:15-Mailbag
34:00-Trajectile Review (DSiWare)
39:21-Matt Hazard: Blood, Bath and Beyond Review (PSN)
45:28-Bayonetta Review via Phil Haymes
52:57-Retro Review: Megamania (2600)
57:16-Feature Presentation-PS3 Demopalooza!
1:19:35-Five Things
1:41:57-The Last Shot
1:44:57-Show Close

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DGR: 01.10.2010

The Bayonetta Demo: Some Impressions

December 7th, 2009 by phneri

So, last night I found myself with a bit of a puzzle. I had finished the first of my term papers, but not the second. With a full week to go (instead of my usual twelve hours of frantic typing and incomprehensible, constant obscenities that ends with a finished paper and a little piece of my soul gone), I decided to reward myself with some videogame time. The question was, what to play?

Borderlands, while utterly delightful, has been finished twice and is about as finished as it can be, unless I want to make 3 new characters and acquire the last 45 points possible there. Yeah, not today.

Deadspace and Batman are both awesome, but not a game for a stray hour.

Dragon Age remains sealed away until the semester ends, at which point I may lose about 80 hours.

Splosion Man…no, I’ll save my rage-induced cursing for the term paper.

What’s this? A demo? I had heard something about Bayonetta. I don’t remember what it was, but what the hell. It’s worth a shot.

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