When I was a kid, the first bit of anime that I was introduced to wasn’t Sailor Moon or Speed Racer. It was a serial cartoon show called Star Blazers. Every Saturday, my brothers and I would watch as the crew of the space battleship Yamato traveled across the galaxy in serach of a cure for a dying planet Earth. While not a new concept to Japanese audiences, it was the first episodic cartoon I can remember. It had a kick ass story, amazing battle scenes, and a very memorable theme song. My brothers and I would often make Lego Yamato battleships including the dreaded “Wave Motion Gun.”

That was some thirty years ago, and despite an equally as cool sequel series, I never saw much of Star Blazers. It even took quite awhile for it to reach DVD under a completely different name. Back in Japan, however, the Yamato and her crew have enjoyed several fantastical adventures and many animated feature films, including Final Yamato dubbed as the longest animated film ever made (163 minutes, folks).  Universal concepts such as honor, sacrifice, and love for your fellow man made this show a success abroad and loved by those who could remember it here.

This Decemeber, the Yamato and her crew will step off the animation cell and into the world of live action. Directed by Takashi Yamazaki (Japanese Academy Awards winner and special effects wizard) the movie will star Takuya Kimura as Susumu Kodai and Meisa Kuroki as Yuki. There was a teaser trailer that floated around the net this summer, but only recently did the studio let us get a glimpse of what we could expect. There are only a few things that bring me more joy than that which celebrates things I loved in my youth. For many of the images, characters, and obvious movie plot points are taken straight out of the cartoon I loved as a kid. Even Susumu’s hair is spot-on from his animated counterpart. If you’re an old fart like me, or a fan of the Yamato, you can’t help but get goosebumps watching what I can only describe as a whole ton of awesome. I’m not exactly sure when we might see a US version of this film, but I might just have to catch a ride to Japan to check it out. That is if Godzilla isn’t attacking at that time.

http://yamato-movie.net/en/

I want you to think about your favorite restaurant. Why is that restaurant so good? Was it the service? Did something happen there that makes it memorable to you? Well my favorite restaurant is the ole’ Schezuan House here in Portland. What makes it my favorite place to eat? It’s quite simple really. I didn’t have my first date there, and nothing of major interest ever happened to me there. Schezuan House is my favorite restaurant because my favorite food is Chinese food and they have the best damn hot & sour soup I have ever eaten, and believe me when I say I’ve had a lot of hot & sour soup in dozens upon dozens of Chinese restaurants. I’ve had it in Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Toronto (where it was $40 a plate), New York, Miami, and, yes, even bumfuck Wisconsin. At every Chinese restaurant I ever go to, I make sure to try the hot & sour soup. And while I like hot & sour soup obviously, I always walk away with the same feeling: “that was okay, but it isn’t as good as the schwan”. Hell the rest of their menu isn’t even that great. Their rice is mushy and their crab puffs suck, but that hot & sour soup keeps me coming back over and over again.

So if the entire food landscape was the entire videogame landscape, then my Chinese food would be the hack ‘n slash genre, and my hot & sour soup would be Ninja Gaiden. It’s combination of depth, balance, challenge, and finesse is unsurpassed even after five years on the market, and it is simply the finest 3D action game ever made. I own all three versions of the game and have beaten it across the multiple difficulty settings eleven times. Many entries into the genre have come and all have fallen and been dismembered by Ryu Huyabusa and his blade. Not even the mighty God Of War or the Son Of Sparda can knock him off of his peak (although Dante put up one hell of a fight last year and succeeded in kicking the crap out of Ninja Gaiden II). It has no equal, and stands alone atop Mt. Jarrod’s affection.

So whenever a new challenger approaches, I am sure to pick it up immediately. After all I don’t hold a particular bias towards Ninja Gaiden. I would love to see a new king of the hot & sour soups emerge (maybe one with better character designs and a halfway decent story), but one just hasn’t come around, and frankly I don’t see any game in the future that can. Games like Ninja Gaiden are so geared to a specific hardcore audience that a game like that or Devil May Cry 4 only come around every couple of years, with most entries in the genre having only a fraction of the depth those titles have. So maybe my expectations for games of this ilk are just way too damn high, and when this fresh cup of hot & sour soup from Namco Bandai called Afro Samurai rolled my way, I tried my hardest to base it on its own merits, which was especially difficult as it is one of the most conflicting games I have played in a long time.
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So, this is going to be an anime post. About giant robots. Really badass transforming giant robots.

No, I don’t mean Transformers. Or Voltron, or any of those other pussy transforming robots from your youth. I mean Getter Robo. When men were men, robots were robots, and bad guys bled, then exploded, then bled some more. Because your giant robot with a drill for an arm just drilled him in the face to death.

Getter Robo is awesome simply because it makes damn near no sense, and refuses to apologize for this. The basic premise is some loony-ass scientist with a mountain fortress built a giant killer robot with incredible destructive power using bizarre energy no one really knows how to control. And he’s the good guy.

Next come the pilots. Instead of using highly trained, skilled, and stable people to drive his giant death machine, this guy decides to hire a street thug, a serial killer who uses his bare hands to murder whoever the fuck he feels like, and an insane monk with a sword. Because the Getter Robo isn’t driven by skill. It’s driven by pure macho force. Real men don’t need skill to pilot a giant robot. They just hit fucking buttons until something explodes. Then they do that again.

What do they fight? Does it matter, beyond that there are giant monsters that bleed? First it’s some demon horde…thing. Later in feudal Japan (this is after the time travel episode. Yeah) it’s the same demon horde thing with a crazy sorcerer in charge of them. Then it’s god. Yes, our heroes become so badass they decide to kick the shit out of the almighty for a while. Because they fucking can.

And that’s pretty much all you need. This is the Grindhouse of anime. If you like lots of explosions and hate dialog that makes sense, have I got the show for you.

youtube AMVage from some guy follows. I chose this over normal show footage as I feel the goofy heavy metal theme accents the depraved, insane awesome of the show further.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to add a few discs to my Netflix queue to make up for the upcoming viewing of Mama Mia