iPad: Once again, I’ll be honest and say that if it has the Steve Jobs stamp of approval on it, chances are damn good that I’ll own it. This device, however, was even a bit of a stretch for me in terms of justifying a purchase. My initial reaction to it, like so many others, was one of “I have this already. It’s my iPhone”. However, over the months since it’s April 2010 launch, I’ve found it vying for the spot as the single most used piece of tech in my household, second only to the television. For being something that I don’t “really” need, the iPad has managed to ingrain itself into the very fabric of my daily routine. It’s first thing I take out when I get to work, it’s the first thing my daughter asks for when I get home and it’s very often the last thing I see while reading a book in bed or watching a late-night television show with my wife. Say what you will about it, the iPad has managed to exceed my expectations by doing the impossible: carving out a niche in my already over-filled tech life.

Twitter: I was a fan of Twitter in 2009 (and put it on my best-of list then too, I believe) but this simple program has continued to show it’s usefulness in 2010. Part of what makes it so fantastic is it’s simple core structure; 140 character messages, nothing more. With this simple premise, however, Twitter has become my major news source, a vehicle for communicating with podcast listeners and keeping tabs on people I find interesting or inspirational. Hell, it’s even becoming a great vehicle for promoting your movie in the hands of Kevin Smith. Twitter shows that a simple, cleanly executed idea can become so much more when in hands of a creative and active user base. Let’s also mention that the fantastic mobile twitter app, Tweetie, was acquired by Twitter and their subsequent iPad and Mac offerings have become my favorite way to access the service.

Dropbox: This may go down as the most important program I installed on my devices this year. Simply put, Dropbox is a spot on the cloud where I can put my shit, to be accessed by all my devices that need said shit. While other programs and services do something similar, it’s the way in which Dropbox does it that sets it apart. It’s clean and simple with an interface that requires little thought. It’s automated, so it never feels like an FTP program and it’s fast so that uploading things isn’t a pain in the ass waiting game. The simplicity and ease of use make it a program that entered my workflow right away and stayed as an integral part of accessing things from anywhere. It’s a service I simply can’t live without now and it’s saved my ass a number of times. It’s my favorite new discovery of 2010.

The Social Network: I’m not sure, exactly, why I found this movie so inspirational. By all accounts, Mark Zuckerberg is I guy I just couldn’t stand to be around for more than 5 minutes. However, the story of how a college kid and his buddies managed to create a computer program that would embed itself into the very culture of America is a fascinating one for me. There is something about the story of an idealistic young man that takes a risk and becomes a success with that vision that really appeals to me. Sadly, it’s probably just me wishing I had the balls to do something similar but David Fincher’s film really spoke to me. It was also shot in such a warm and beautiful way, using the old Harvard campus to great effect, that it really sucked me into the world. Add the fantastic performances by the principle actors and the eerily quiet score by Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross and it was film that set the bar for me in 2010.

Cooking/Mexican Cuisine/Rick Bayless: In November of 2009, I had a rather life changing moment when I ate at Topolobompo, a gourmet Mexican restaurant owned by chef Rick Bayless. After eating what still stands as one of the most interesting and delicious meals of my life, I walked over to a counter that held a series of cookbooks by the chef. Standing there was a member of the cooking staff on break, reading one of the cookbooks. He spotted me browsing, turned to me and pointed at the book “Rick Bayless’s Mexican Kitchen” and simply said “That one’s the best”. I took his advice and proceeded down a year that was dedicated to not only cooking traditional Mexican food but one where food was finally put into perspective in my own life.

I had cooked off and on over the years but never in a purposeful way. 2010 became the year where I dedicated myself to the idea of good food, prepared simply and in my own kitchen for my family. I wanted to capture the feelings that had been awakened during my meal at Topolobompo and by February, I had hosted my very first dinner party featuring Mexican cuisine. 2010 was the year of cooking meals for my family almost every day and with each new dish, my confidence as a cook grew stronger and stronger. I began consulting my mother on recipes she used to regularly make for us as kids, adding them back into the fabric of my life and passing those flavors onto my own children. In addition to meals for my family, I had the joy of cooking Paella with Moe on an outdoor brick oven for 30 friends, and serving Red Mole to a couple who understood it’s significance and history. Be it meals for everyday or celebratory moments of my life, 2010 was the year where I began to dedicate life to food and it’s proper place in my world. It has been one of the most joyful and satisfying endeavors I have ever undertaken.

Arcade Fire-The Suburbs: This disc captivated me during the summer of 2010 in a way that no other album did. It spun in my car, streamed off my iPod, iPad and Mac at every given opportunity. These songs had hooks and chord progressions that kept me engaged and they even managed to make the whole “concept album” idea palatable. Add to that the fact that they represent an Indie band that managed to reach the pinnacle of the venerated Top 10 list and you have something special. Now, if only everything hadn’t been ruined by their Saturday Night Live appearance which revealed just how goonie that lead singer guy is. Seriously, it’s like Lurch meets Kraftwerk.

I realize there are no videogames on this particular list and it’s not because I didn’t play them. I just feel like I’ve said all that on the podcast, so you can check that out if you’re curious as to my top 2010 games. With that, I’ll close by simply saying a big thank you to all the folks who have listened to us this year, helped celebrate our 5th year of podcasting and continued to make the show a fun thing by writing in and leaving us fantastic voice mails. 2011 represents the third year of Robot Panic’s existence and as such (if we stay true to form) it’s about time for us to start blowing shit up. I just want to thank you for being the kind of people who are mostly cool with that kind of thing and it’s nice to know we have such fun people along for the ride.

It’s that time of year again, when we look back at all the crap we ate over the holidays and decide it’s time to lose weight. You’ll eat less, switch to diet soft drinks, and yes, some of you nerds will actually join a gym, go three times and never come back. You’ll start eating normally, and instead of losing a few pounds you will gain the average 5-10 pounds that we Americans gain every year. Well, in an attempt to actually contribute something worthwhile, I’d like to share with all of you some very real and practical ways that you can drop a pound or two. Some of you will be asking, ”Hey why should we listen to you Ryker?” Normally that is a very valid question, and one that even top scholars have failed to come up with an answer for. But in this case, you will want to listen because in the last year and a half I have managed to drop over 70 pounds, and it’s still coming off. The advice I will give you is free and easy and you won’t have to spend a ton of money, unless of course you want to send me some. 

Tip #1 – Eat Frequently:  I am unsure how the tradition of eating three times a day got started, but I can guarantee you that it’s not healthy for you. I used to be like most of you, eat three times a day with the largest meal being dinner. If you sit down and think about how we live, that kind of eating is disasterous. We spend all day running around needing calories and then right before we go to sleep we give our body food when it doesn’t need it. This can really mess up your metabolism and make it more difficult to lose weight. Your body is like a fire, and as such you should stoke that fire every few hours whether you are hungry or not. But don’t go overboard; a granola bar or yogurt will do just fine. But give your body something to eat. This will also make you less hungry when dinner time rolls around. I eat when I get up, after I workout, 10:00, noon, 2:30, and then again at 5:00. You should plan on at least five meals a day; just doing this will make a huge difference.

Tip #2 – Track What You Eat:  I know what you are saying: “You can’t be serious. I ain’t doing that crap.” I too strayed from calorie counting for most of my life and thought hose people were nuts. But if you are serious about weight loss, you have to do it. It’s like not keeping score at a football game. Who wins? I can tell you that before I started calorie counting I believed I didn’t eat that much. Then when my wellness coach made me start journaling my food I was shocked; I was easily putting close to 3,000 calories in without even trying. Sure, smaller portions of junk food are still a ton of calories. For most of us we should strive to eat no more than 2,000 calories a day or 1,800 if you want to start losing weight.  

This isn’t as hard as you might think. There are several FREE programs that allow you to track your food. The best one out there is MyPlate from Livestrong. Not only will it help you set caloric goals, but it will search for foods and let you know how much you are taking in before you eat them. Think you want to have a Big Mac? No problem. Just look it up and it will tell you what you are about to eat. MyPlate is a smart program as well. It learns what you like to eat and grabs your most common foods first. MyPlate also tracks what you do for exercise. So as you work out the more you can eat in a day, or the more beers you can drink! Best of all, MyPlate is available in an application form for almost everything. I have it on my BlackBerry and use it all the time to not only plan my day for eating, but for making better choices when I am at a restaurant.

Tip #3 – Get Moving: If anybody tries to sell you a weight loss product that works without exercise, run fast in the opposite direction. The bottom line is your body needs to burn more calories than it takes in order to lose weight. Now you could starve yourself and do a 1,200 calorie or less diet for awhile; but not only is this no fun, but it’s counter productive. When you reduce your caloric intake to very low levels your body’s metabolism adjusts downward and in many cases it will realize something is wrong and start storing fat. Yep, your body becomes a feisty chipmunk storing nuts for the winter. So, you have to eat if you want to lose weight. This is why exercise is so important. In order to get the caloric delta, you need to get moving more. Now this doesn’t mean you have to join a gym or start taking Zumba (although that does kick ass). Simple things that you do every day can make a huge difference. Taking your dog for a half hour walk instead of the five minute one can burn over 200 calories. Playing a pick up game of basketball with your friends is well over 300. It doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is you get your ass off the couch and do something.  Heck playing Dance Central for an hour can burn between 600-1,000 calories and is a ton of fun too! 

Tip #4 – Don’t Stalk the Scale: You know, your body is a funny thing, and often times when you do the right things it doesn’t give you the results you were lookiung for. That’s why many people who start weighing themselves on a daily basis get frustrated. “I’m doing the work, but I’m not seeing the results.”  We need to remember that the weight is only part of the results and that inches can be a better indicator of success than the scale ever could be. I’ll be honest, I weigh myself once a week and for the past month I have pretty much stayed in the same spot. These plateaus come and go and they can be hard to deal with. My clothes felt great and I even had to get smaller Jeans. Then I saw my doctor and we did a Body Mass Index reading. My BMI went down 10% in the last 12 months and that is a huge accomplishment. The truth is I had been gaining muscle mass, which weighs more than fat. My weight was then a wash, but I was overall much healthier. So try and weigh yourself once every week or two and don’t run out to McDonalds when you don’t see the results you want right away. 

Tip #5 – Drink Water, not Soda: Did you know that 75% of all Americans are dehydrated?  Having the correct amount of water in our system is crucial for the body to operate effectively. So keep a water bottle by your desk and try and drink at least two a day. Experts will tell you that eight glasses is what you want, but depending on what you are doing you may need more or less. One might argue that beer and soda have water in them. This is true, but if you aren’t drinking diet soda, you are taking in 200 empty calories with each can. Diet soda isn’t any better as it contains high amounts of sodium and it messes with the PH balance in your bloodstream. (The PH levels of a diet soda are one step below battery acid. Think about that: you are drinking battery acid and that can’t be good for you). Try giving up soda for two weeks and see how many pounds you drop by just doing that. 

Tip #6 – Be Patient: We live in an “I want it now” society and we want diet programs that give us instant results. The truth is these programs can sometimes provide us with the a short term weight loss. But oftentimes when we go back to a regular routine, we gain all the weight back; and then some.  Healthy weight loss is around one to two pounds per week. If you keep this perspective and don’t expect instant results, you will be better able to stick with the program. If you are successful and these tips become habits, life gets even better. For me, planning what I am going to eat and how I will exercise is a way of life for me; I can’t imagine living any other way. This didn’t happen overnight, and neither did becoming the extra large person I once was either. Set goals, but be realistic about them. Slow and steady will win the race each and every time. 

Finally, find supportive people who can help hold you accountable. I didn’t do all this by myself. I had help from a wellness program and other positive people. If anyone else is struggling and they want support, just send me an email and I’ll be glad to help. Life was never meant to be done solo, and that applies here as well.  Here’s wishing you all great success on your New Years resolutions, whatever they may be.

Most people recognize the name of celebrity chef Tom Colicchio from his role as the bald head judge of the Bravo reality show, Top Chef. If the only place you’ve seen him, however, is sitting at the table eating food from anxious semi-pro cook hopefuls, than you’re missing out on just what a fantastic chef Colicchio is in his own right.

Tom Colicchio got his start the old fashioned way by working his way up the ladder at various restaurants on the East Coast. Eventually, his attention to great food prepared with good ingredients started earning him a reputation that put him in the kitchens of some of the nations best chefs, including Thomas Keller. After opening his first New York establishment, Gramercy Tavern, his place in the food world was secure as one of America’s best chefs. Following the success of Gramercy Tavern, Colicchio opened a restaurant simply entitled, Craft, and focused even further his belief in simply prepared dishes using the best local ingredients possible. Over the years, Craft has expanded into many different venues including a more casual sister restaurant, Craftbar, a high-end sandwich shop, ‘wichCraft and a steakhouse, Craftsteak.

I had the privilege of eating a meal at the Craftsteak in Las Vegas this past week, which can be found at the MGM Grand hotel. My wife and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into as we celebrated our fifth anniversary with a dinner at Craftsteak and we were met with a shot of reality after looking at the prices. You won’t be getting out of here for under $100.00 per person due to the ala carte nature of the experience. However, while you might initially choke at the high Las Vegas prices (and no one can blame you), let me tell you that at the end of our meal, my wife and I felt that we had gotten more than our money’s worth. Ridiculous, I know but the food was that exceptional. It’s defiantly the kind of place you chose for a special occasion and you’ll likely eat there just once.

My wife and I decided we would leave ourselves in the chef’s capable hands and ordered a tasting menu that had as its central feature, Grade 7 Wagyu Beef. We started with four appetizers, which had as it’s standout dish the Warm Frisée Salad with Farm Egg and Bacon. Normally, I’m not a huge fan of Frisee, with it’s bitter taste making it right for only certain dressings. However, I’m sold after eating this version. With a warm buttermilk dressing mixed with bacon and a poached egg on top, it was like a bite sized version of a fantastic breakfast. A bit unreal, unexpected and yet a completely satisfying, savory start to the meal.

The Wagyu Beef came in the form of two steaks, one a 10oz Fillet Mignon and the other a 14oz Ribeye. Wagyu, I came to find out, is an amazing hybrid of the famous Japanese Kobe and the American Angus. It is, without a doubt, the greatest steak I have ever and will ever eat in my life. With the full bodied taste of the Angus steaks we know and love in the States but matched with a soft, buttery texture that make it unlike any steak I’ve ever tasted. Velvety and delicious, it was the signature moment of the meal and every bite was an amazing one. Matched with the steaks were three side dishes that included a Butternut Squash Rissotto with Hen of the Woods, Brussels Sprouts with Bacon and Yukon Gold Puree with Chives. These side dishes were all very simply prepared and were simply exceptionally delicious. All the flavors worked well together and made a fantastic counterpoint to the steaks. Of particular note was the risotto which had chunks of butternut squash in the creamy, brilliantly prepared rice topped with Hen of the Woods which gave a very earthy contrast to the rich, buttery, creamy rice.

Following that (and at the point where we were having trouble imagining eating more food) came the desert course. Consisting of variations on cheesecake, sorbet and fruit, our three plates of desert simply rounded out a once in a lifetime, unforgettable meal.

It has to be mentioned that the service at Craftsteak was unlike any experience I’ve every had at a restaurant. I have to be honest here and say that service is usually the last thing I notice in a dining experience. Unless the waiter is a complete jerk, I rarely take note and simply appreciate the staff staying out of the way and bringing out the food in a timely manner. However, at Craftsteak, I had no less than five people interested in making sure every last thing was taken care of. From explaining the various dishes to asking how if we needed anything to simply making us feel welcome and at home, the service was stunning. I have never felt more comfortable in a high end dining experience and for folks trying high end dining for the first time, no place will make you feel more at home.

Overall, if you have the time (the meal took around 2 1/2 hours all told) and are willing to spend some serious money on an artistic meal that will stick in your mind for a long, long time, give Craftsteak a try the next time you hit the casinos in Vegas.

I know it’s strange to get worked up about a recipe for relish. I mean, of all the condiments we use on our hot dogs and burgers, relish is generally the least appreciated. But when visiting some friends a few years back, I put some of this relish on my hot dog and immediately had to know its story. Where did they get it? How was it made? What’s in it? Was it a family recipe? My friends looked at me strangely, probably mistaking my enthusiasm for sarcasm. But after some coaxing, I learned the the recipe had been passed down from their great-grandparents and each year they would get together as a family to make a giant batch of this amazing relish. After telling me the story, they gave me a jar and sent me on my way. But, of course, this shit doesn’t last forever. And after years of begging, I finally nabbed the recipe and got a walk-through of how to make it. And, because I’m a nice guy, I’m now going to share it with you.

You’re going to need some supplies for this project. You’ll need a food processor, a very large mixing bowl, a large pot, a spatula, around six jars and lids, and a large colander. This last item is key. Preferably, you’ll want to have the type of colander that sits on a stand, allowing juices to be drained into a bowl beneath. See the picture below for an example of what I’m talking about. If you don’t have – or can’t find – one of those, just try to rig something that allows you to drain the juices, perhaps by simply setting the colander on top of a large mixing bowl.

Now, before I list the recipe, keep in mind that this was passed down through generations. Therefore, the amounts are mostly approximations and you’ll have to use your best judgement.
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The Story

For those of you following the DGR Twitter feed, you are probably aware (whether you care to be or not) of my summer decree: learn to feed self.  Seriously, it’s like I just moved out of my parents house.  I realize how juvenile it may sound, but 12 years of living alone and working hours that almost never allow for a self-prepared meal make for some pretty stupid eating habits.  Fortunately, my job provides some down time in the summer, which I will use this year in what will surely be an embarrassing, if not exciting, attempt to learn how to cook.  And I mean REALLY cook.

Of course, there is  the running joke on the Robot Panic site about me asking John how to cook SpaghettiOs in college.  Sadly, while slightly misrepresented (barely), it is mostly true… entirely.  Since that time, I had learned to make my own pasta noodles, ravioli, various sauces, seafood, etc., but those are extremely time intensive meals that only appear for special occasions.  In the meantime, I was throwing away piles of produce that I couldn’t eat before it went bad and stocking up on processed food (because it lasted forever), which is terrible for your health.  After spending some time with a few people who genuinely cared about their food, I began to develop an appreciation for eating better and also noticing the general benefits that followed: higher energy levels, improved physical health, etc.

All that aside, I have begun with a few new tools and am about five weeks into my little, but increasingly expensive experiment.  Fortunately, it’s worth every penny.  Probably by a factor of ten, if I can keep it going.  So far, I am very much enjoying the change of pace and loving the results.  The first purchases were the following:

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Here we are, awaiting Firkin Fest this weekend, so I decided it’s about time to bring out the article I’ve been sitting on for a year and a half: the Surly feature. Surly is my favorite brewery, and while not all of their beers are A+, they all offer something wonderful to explore. What I really like about them is that they don’t brew to traditional style; rather they brew what they think will taste good with a nod to a certain style. For example, Furious is usually described as a double IPA, but it contains too much malt for the style. The brewers at Surly just brew what they would like to drink and they have gained a rabid following because of it.

Surly Hell. 5.1%ABV. Very limited offering, available for about a month 1x a year.
Pours a clear golden-orange. It is unfiltered, but I don’t detect floaties. The head is bone white and dissipates quickly, even in my Duvel glass.

Smell is very sweet, light malt with a clean touch of dried apricot. Just barely there is a hint of white pepper.

Very smooth mouthfeel; goes down like buttery white bread. Carbonation is just right, not too much, almost feels like a cask beer.

The taste is super clean and the unfiltered nature of it gives it just enough breadiness to give it plenty of depth for the beer that is Surly’s tamest offering. This would hold up to all kinds of food pairings because it has a clean flavor, but it is so deep that even bleu cheese would pair nicely. After drinking it a bit, the hops come out a bit more and you can taste the faint bitterness. Treading water in there is fresh, lightly popped popcorn. Alcohol is faintly detected on the exhale.

Surly Furious. 6.2% ABV. Offered year round.
Furious is my desert island beer. When I wake up in the morning, I can remember I had some the night before because I’m still tasting hops as I brush my teeth. One of the great things about this beer is that to the seasoned Furious drinker, you can pick out variations in the batches from time to time. Rather than a distraction, this really lets me ponder the beer I am drinking and when I get an especially great batch it really blows me away. Sometimes I find floaties in it, sometimes I don’t. Usually the floaties clue me in that it’s going to be especially good but that’s not always the case. Another great thing about Furious is that the malt used in it is that same malt used for making The Macallan, a world-class whisky (and one of my favorites).

Pours a hazy red amber. Thick head that leaves lots of lacing down the sides of the glass.

Smell: lots of grapefruit with richly roasted malt. A hint of grassiness creeps up toward the end. Just the slightest hint of nougat.

Toasted malt and citrus blast away. The hops impart a pungent herbal and catty punch in the face. Slight alcohol warmth is present. Mouthfeel is medium light. Malty sweetness burrows through at the end along with orange peel dipped in molasses.

16 Grit. 9%ABV. Brewed once.
At the end of 2008, Surly brewed too much beer for the state of Minnesota to allow them to continue to sell growlers (a refillable 64oz. bottle) at the brewery site. As a thank you to the people who were loyal growler customers, they brewed a one-time beer where you could bring your empty growlers for a farewell fill on the four final days of the year. On the first day it was available I picked up the four empties I had sitting around the house and took a long lunch break to stand two and a half hours in line. The next day, I took my two empties and aching head to the brewery, but they had already run out. I talked to Omar, the owner, and he said they miscalculated the volume a bit – they used such a huge volume of hops in the dry hop process (where you dump hops straight into the tank while it is fermenting) that the hops had soaked up a major portion of the beer. I was about half an hour late for the last pour. The beer has since become legendary among beer geeks.

Pours a dirty Amber brown with a generous head if poured aggressively.

Smell has orange peel, lemon zest, fresh grass that has been dried out for a day, spicy white pepper.

In the taste there is a huge citrus presence with bitter orange peel and sweetened lemon. Light caramel in the body. Popcorn kernels roasted to the point of almost burnt. Green grass. Something is alive in here. Bitterness sits on the back of the tongue and hangs out, calls some friends over for dinner.

Thoroughly, utterly enjoyable. My wife calls this Mrs. Furious. Just as hoppy, but seductively sweet.

As it warms, some marshmallow is present and then in the middle, hiding amongst all the bitterness and citrus is a line of pure sugar sweetness, which balances everything with precision. Very faint alcohol presence, which is mind blowing considering the 9% ABV.

Had you been at the Watchmen meet-up, you would probably have been served this out of the trunk of my car.

CynicAle. 6.7% ABV. Brewed year round.
Pours a murky straw with a generous head.

Smell: very bright banana, dried apricot, coriander. A lively yeast smell is detected.

A mellow yeast with coriander comes through initially. White pepper is found along with a faint grassy hop flavor. A hint of dried banana comes through. At the finish is toasted malt. Deceptively drinkable for the high alcohol content.

This is the beer that converted a colleague of mine from Miller Lite. Now he has two bottles of Darkness in his fridge.

Surly Bender. 5.1% ABV. Available all year.
Pours an opaque dark brown with a smallish head.

Smell contains faint chalk, light molasses, brown sugar, and a hint of banana bread.

Deeply roasted coffee flavors. At first, a touch of burnt popcorn, chocolate and honey. Hops leave a dry grassy flavor with a hint of dry biscuit. Honey becomes more prominent as it warms.

This is a dangerously drinkable beer.

Surly Coffee Bender. 5.1%ABV. Available year round.
Pours a root beer brown. The head is a thick tan that stays around for a while. Beautiful.

Smell initially contains fresh coffee, then gives way to the distinct roasted malt of Bender. The coffee comes back again with the same smell you get from the residue of a freshly emptied coffee bean bag.

First taste is deep coffee, heavily roasted, and then more coffee. The taste that comes out would be like if you had been given a naked Sumatra bean that had been in the middle of a bag of chocolate covered beans. There is a bitterness here that regular Bender does not have; slightly orange rind with white pepper. Just the right amount of alcohol heat is felt on the exhale, giving this a very warm and comforting feeling. Mouthfeel is not too thick, something like 1% milk.

This is highly drinkable and the addition of caffeine makes it a good warm up to an evening of drinking fine beer.

Bitter Brewer. 4% ABV. Brewed early to mid summer annually.
Pours orange with burnt amber. A great whiff of fresh bright hops in the nose. The hops smell of dry grass and an earthy floralness.

Bright and crackery on the tongue, medium light mouthfeel. A very dry and refreshing bitterness jumps in immediately afterward. The carbonation is just thick enough to give it a casklike quality, and it immediately forms into a thick foam when it is swished around in the mouth.

The best way I can describe the taste would be almost like a dry biscuit or cracker made with a good amount of butter and sprinkled with dry sun-baked summer grass. Alcohol is imperceptible on the exhale. This is a great session beer to watch football with and drink all day.

Well, that’s it on my Surly notes. If you want to drink more Surly vicariously through me, check out the Darkness Day write up I did late last year or the SurlyFest tasting in the Oktoberfest article.

I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. And I did this for you, dear readers. While waiting to pay for my comics at the local comic book shop, I decided to grab a little something to drink. And in the impulse-buy cooler located conveniently next to the check-out counter, I spotted these two little beauties:

How could I resist the temptation?

So I coughed up the two bucks each, threw the drinks in my bag, brought them home and chugged them down. And now my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. And it’s no wonder, look at the color of this shit:

For those wondering, it’s hard to say which one tasted better…or worse. Both the Megaman E-Tank and the Pac-Man Bonus Fruit Energy Drink tasted like some sort of sugar/fruit explosion and the flavors were unrecognizable thanks to the burning sensation it left as it seared down my throat.

So I just saved you four bucks and blood in your urine. You’re welcome.

Moichendising!

Yogurt said it best. The key to success is merchandising. T-Shirts, toys, posters, games. Whatever sort of crap you can toss at rabid fans. If I’ve learned anything from George Lucas it’s that even if your movie sucks (Episode I), you can still make a killing off merchandising.

One of my favorite shows on television is HBO’s True Blood. It’s rare that I find a show that interests both my wife and me, but this one hit the jackpot. Now, I must first mention that I find 99% of vampire stories to be…well…for lack of a better term: gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But seriously, just take Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire. Those two were one take away from full-on penetration and their abysmal spin on Anne Rice’s novel made me walk out of the theater questioning my sexuality. And don’t get me started on Twilight. I haven’t even seen the movies, but the trailers alone give me an uncomfortable tingling feeling in my anus.

But I digress.

Suffice it to say that True Blood kicks ass. Every episode contains buckets of blood, oodles of boobs, and a few laughs mixed in for good measure. Each week, my wife and I sit down to watch the crazy story of a small Louisiana town as the citizens cope with vampires, shape-shifters, and all sorts of other crazy beings.

For the uninitiated, the premise of the show is when Japanese scientists create a synthetic blood capable of replacing real, human blood, the vampires who have been living hidden among us for centuries “come out”, so to speak. They make their presence known, now that they don’t have to hunt humans as prey. True Blood becomes a bottled beverage, sold in different varieties (Type O Positive, Type A Negative, etc.), and vampire bars pop up all over the country. Of course, some vampires still seek the thrill of the hunt, but that’s a different story. We’re here to talk about the beverage based on the TV show.

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So today we’re going to divert from the usual conversation on beer, hard liquor, and Moe’s boxer briefs fetish. Today we’re going to discuss wine.

As some of you know, I’ve spent the last week in California, roaming the central valley, tasting dozens of wines a day, and buying the most delicious and interesting. Yes, I suffer so that I may write for you, dear reader. How I suffer.

I’m going to discuss a few wineries and the more awesome things they brought forth. Be warned: some of these places get spendy. If you can’t see dropping $40 or so on a really awesome bottle, that’s fine. I invite you to return to your box wine and white zinfandel now with the knowledge that if you should ever meet me and make the mistake of touching my wine glass with either of these things I will murder you with a hammer.

They will never find the body.

That aside, let’s discuss a few delicious wineries:

Eos: Location: Paso Robles, CA. Pricing $-$$
Eos Website

Great wine and a fantastic price range on the selection. The guys at Eos make a ton of excellent wine. The Lost Angel label is their budget label, and is quite tasty. The Lost Angel Mischief stands out as a tasty, fruity blend with great legs that can hold up to a heavy pizza, etc. At $14 (site listing) you won’t mind popping this open for a cheap meal or around people you don’t like that much. The private reserve has a lot of tastiness for a bit more money. Another personal favorite is the “Tears of Dew” Late Harvest. Very sweet and fairly complex for a dessert wine, this guy is also really reasonably priced.

Herman Story/Barrel 27/McPrice Myers
Location: Paso Robles, CA. Pricing $-$$

Barrel 27 homepage
McPrice Myers homepage
Herman Story Hompeage

These three wineries are the work of two guys. Russell P. From is the genius behind Herman Story. McPrice Myers is run by, oddly enough, Mr. Myers. Finally, Barrel 27 is a joint effort by both winemakers.

Barrel 27 is your budget label here. The Head Honcho is there big boy at $28, and is a very impressive Syrah. The Right Hand Man is the second red down for $10 less, and is an absolutely fantastic bottle for that price. This stuff will blow your mind for the money.

McPrice Myers makes some more expensive wine, but also very tasty bottles. L’Ange Rouge is a very nice wine. Unfortunately as of this posting it looks like Beautiful Earth, my far and away favorite, is sold out (Note: The 2007 is still available, but not for long).

Herman Story itself is your head banging, death metal, kickass wine. This shit is phenomenal all around. The Nuts and Bolts advertised on the home page is delicious, as is their Viognier, Cab, and just about anything else. Herman Story has a wine club (as do pretty much all of these guys), and it would behoove you to become a part of it before Mr. From makes fuck you money and ignores all further requests to be a member in delicious.
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Years ago, when I first started watching The Iron Chef, Morimoto was always my favorite of the bunch for not only the incredible-looking dishes he served up, but also for his winning personality. He’s a guy who comes off as charming, humble, and altogether likable in whatever he’s in, whether it be the original Iron Chef program, its American remake, or the countless other Food Network shows he’s appeared in. Several months ago, I talked about my trip to Bobby Flay’s restaurant in Las Vegas, the Mesa Grill, and while it was definitely a cool experience and the food was wonderful, in my mind Mr. Flay is no Morimoto and the chance to eat at Morimoto’s restaurant in Philadelphia was far more exciting to me.

My wife and I made reservations a few days prior. Unfortunately, because we were planning on eating Saturday evening, we were only able to nab reservations for 9pm. I don’t mind eating late, but for the meal we were about to be served, dining well into the night was not ideal.

You see, friends of ours had eaten at Morimoto’s and recommended the Chef’s Choice, or “Omakase”. The idea behind the Omakase is that it’s a sampling of different items on the menu with the intent of giving you a feel for Chef Morimoto’s dishes. The Omakase ranges in price from “$80 – $120 and up”, the price apparently increasing with the quality of ingredients, according to our waitress. We decided to “cheap out” and go with the $80 option.

But first things first: the bar.

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