In the “brag about your wife” category of this site, I make the following entry. My wife is now the voice of OfficeMax ads and you can (or probably already have at this point) heard her on the most recent television commercials. Check one out:

Oh, and go buy some paper clips or something.

2010 was packed. So much that looking back I can hardly believe it all happened in just one single year. It was also a different sort of year for me as I did my best to focus on living, rather than simply consuming. This was as much a conscious decision as it was one born out of necessity. Now the father of two young boys, I find myself with less and less time to enjoy the frivolities that we generally celebrate here at Robot Panic, and more obliged to savor every moment I have that isn’t spent changing diapers, assembling toys, or pretending to chase invisible monsters in my house. As such, I purchased far fewer games, watched less than half the number of films I saw in 2009, and pulled the plug on a number of TV shows that I just didn’t have time for.

But don’t mistake my tone to be one of regret. 2010 was one of the most personally fulfilling years of my life. It was the year I was able to actually return to creating things, rather than just talking about them. The Shmopera was the first time in years that I sat behind a real drumset and felt competent. It was the year I really embraced fatherhood to the fullest and discovered that despite all my cynicism and reluctance, I really enjoy being a family man. I bought a cabin on the lake where I spent nearly every summer of my childhood, investing in a place where my young family can grow together and create great memories over the next several decades.

My Fortress of Solitude

Fret not, gentle readers. I won’t spend this entire post rambling about how I love my wife and kids and gushing over baby pictures. Without further ado, let’s get to the important shit, shall we?

Comics: I’m starting with comics because buying comics was the most consistent thing I did all year. Without fail, I made my weekly trip to the comic book shop to pick up books that provided me with much-needed escape from my hectic life. I found that I’ve all but left the Marvel universe this year, due to their over-emphasis on the multitude of Avengers franchises and lack of anything really interesting going on in their regular books. In fact, unless I’m mistaken, the only Marvel books I currently pick up on a regular basis are Iron Man, Captain America, and Secret Avengers. The first purely out of habit (Tony Stark’s journey to win back his fortune hasn’t been all that fascinating), and the last two simply because I’ll buy anything the Ed Brubaker writes.

In the superhero world, DC has been getting the bulk of my cash this year, and most of that is spent on the Batman franchise. Bruce Wayne finally returned, and as a result I now pull about a half-dozen bat-books per month. Detective Comics, Batman, Batman and Robin, Red Robin, Batman, Inc., and probably one or two others I’m forgetting. I’m glad they found a way to keep Dick Grayson in a Batman suit for the time being, but I can’t say I’m too fond of the whole “Bruce Wayne publicly admits to funding Batman all these years” story line. In fact, it makes the whole “secret identity” gimmick far less believable than ever; especially since Vicki Vale just about blew the lid on it last year anyway.

But the best comic books I’ve read this year have had nothing – or close to nothing – to do with men in tights and capes. The best book on the stands, bar none, continues to be Scalped. A pulp/crime drama set on an Indian reservation with all sorts of side stories, multiple story threads, and amazing action, Scalped finally beat out The Walking Dead this year as my favorite series.

The other book that has been blowing my mind is Chew, a story about FDA agent Tony Chu, a cibopath who can learn the backstory of any plant or animal simply by eating it. He uses his powers to solve murders (just take a bite out of the victim), and track down criminals. It’s an amazingly entertaining series full of brilliant writing and great hidden jokes on every page.

Scarlett by Brian Michael Bendis is also near the top of my list of must-read books this year. I know I gave Bendis a written lashing last year for the whole resolution to the big Marvel event that he orchestrated, but he sure came bouncing back with Scarlett, the story of a girl who’s been wronged and is out to whip some serious ass.

And then there was Casanova. It’s hard to describe Casanova. Spy book tripped out on acid? Sure, I guess. But that doesn’t do it justice. It’s complex, funny, and challenging. But it’s worth your time.

And finally, I can’t end a comic book rant without getting a plug in for my beloved Ed Brubaker. Whether it’s another great run on Criminal or his new installation of Incognito, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I will buy anything this guy puts out. He’s never, ever let me down.

Music: My aforementioned process of stripping away the excess in my life has had a huge effect on my music buying and listening. I’ve spent much of the year rediscovering albums in my collection, and that included about a month or two where I listened to nothing but “Pet Sounds” by The Beach Boys. I’m also just about finished re-purchasing the entire John Lennon solo catalog now that they’ve been remastered and reminding myself just how fucking brilliant the man was.

But in the way of “new” music this year, for me, nothing topped LCD Soundsystem’s “This is Happening”. It’s music in a genre I rarely get into, but every damn song on that album had me shaking my aged, fat ass. I’m ashamed that it took me so long to take SimpleNate’s advice to buy it, but I made up for my sins by listening to it over and over for nearly the entire month of August.

A close runner-up was “Brother” by The Black Keys. Two white dudes from Ohio doing a killer take on Delta blues. Gotta love it. I listened to this one almost as much as “This is Happening” and enjoyed every last track, especially “Ten Cent Pistol”. “Brother” was the perfect album for late nights sitting out under the stars while sipping on some Surly beer.

After that, the list starts to dwindle fast. I loved “The Suburbs” by Arcade Fire, but can’t decide if I like it better than “Neon Bible.” Either way, it’s a great album and a remarkable achievement in the whole “concept album” endeavor they’ve been chipping away at for seemingly their entire career. And I can’t decide if I love MGMT’s “Congratulations” or find it silly and pretentious.

Aside from that, what really struck me about my music habits in 2010 is that while I’m always actively seeking out something new and interesting to listen to, the wonder of modern technology and programs like iTunes, Grooveshark, and my friends’ recommendations via word-of-mouth or Twitter mean that at long last I’m no longer slave to popular culture. To this day, I have never heard a song by Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Kanye West, or any of the other current “big things”. And I say this not as a badge of honor, but simply a recognition that I no longer have to participate in a musical culture in which I have no interest. I’ve been told that a few of those artists have put out interesting material, and I’m sure that’s true. But I’ve just reached the age where I simply don’t give a damn to turn the dial of my radio to the local “modern hits” station or watch whichever industry awards show where these types of people are paraded about. I’ll let the party-goers gossip about Kanye and Taylor as they dance to the latest auto-tuned bubblegum hit while I grow old clutching onto my Rolling Stones and Hendrix vinyl albums, not yearning for days gone by, but glad in the fact that my world no longer needs to overlap with that one.

Movies: This one’s gonna be short.

Am I crazy or did the majority of 2010 just seem as though it was about nothing but Inception and Toy Story 3? Granted, How to Train Your Dragon was pretty bad ass, but until December, those were the only two big-buzz films of the year that I can recall. To be fair, they were both phenomenal films and ones that I could watch repeatedly. But it certainly seemed like a slow year at the box office.

I did mention December, though, and that month brought True Grit, which further cements the Coen Brothers as two of the greatest filmmakers of our time. It’s great that they can go from producing little niche films like A Simple Man to massive hits like True Grit in the span of a year, and both films are so different yet fit perfectly within their catalog. I wanna see them take on sci-fi next. Deep space science fiction by the Coen Brothers. That shit’d be awesome.

And then there was Tron: Legacy. I’m sure Hilden will wax philosophic about this in much greater detail than I’m capable of, but I’m still of two minds about the movie. On one hand, I was just as apathetic about it as I was the original Tron. That movie was nerdy and 80s, which was a good thing, but it also was boring as absolute hell. This one upped the neat-o factor by a billion, gave Jeff Bridges’ character a Dude-like makeover, and oozed with style. Yet, it still felt a bit dumb and clumsy to me. If nothing else, it created an interesting world that I’d like to see more of. I just hope they remember to include an interesting story next time.

My favorite movie of the year, though? None of the above. My favorite flick was Machete. My wife and I went to see this on opening night and we both had a blast, quoting the movie for the rest of the week. What can I say? I like to have a good time at the movies.

Tech: The iPhone 4 is now more valuable to me than my dick. And that’s not just because I had a vasectomy this year. This thing does everything and it goes everywhere. I just need it to function as an automobile, provide shelter, and dispense food and I’ll never need anything else as long as I live. And you know what? iPhone games can be good. Damn good. Cave dropped a few wonderful titles for iPhone, and I now have an admittedly clunky, yet legitimate TurboGrafx-16 emulator on my phone! I can also listen to radio stations from all across the globe, watch Netflix, organize my comic book pull list, and write music…on my phone! We live in the future…

And then there was the iPad, a device I was certain I didn’t need until Hilden – that rat-bastard – bought one and brought it to the podcast. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it planted a seed. And that seed would grow over the next several weeks as I found out about all the new and awesome shit I could use it for. Next thing I knew – BAM! 64GB iPad in my possession. That thing is now loaded with movies, games, books, magazines, and tons of activities that keep my kids entertained and help them learn. And reading Wired magazine on iPad? One of the coolest things I’ve done all year.

And really, that’ll about do it for me. 2010 was pretty fucked up as far as world events went. Floods, earthquakes, oil spills, celebrity nonsense, crazy deaths. But for me? 2010 was pretty bad ass and I hope I’m able to build on it in 2011 and beyond. As always, thanks for sticking with us for another year and thanks for
hanging out. We enjoy having you around, talking about games, movies, and other random nonsense.

You know, I think I talked about most of this stuff already, but it’s too damn awesome not to be remembered for this year.  Let’s begin! 

Back Dynamite:  Okay, so technically the movie was released in 2009, but how many of us saw it in the theater? The awesomeness of this film became truly widespread when it was released onto DVD back in February. The internet was abuzz at the uniqueness of this film, and after at least six different viewings this year I can see why. The brilliance of this film isn’t in it’s clever writing, quotable one-liners, or how it never really takes itself seriously; no the magic comes in how every time you watch it you pick up on something new and funny. It has become my “go to” movie whenever I have company over, and I’m always thanked when the film is done. As of last week, this film was one of the few Netflix streaming videos that won’t allow you to have a Netflix party with. The reason? Everybody would be doing it as this movie is even more awesome in a  shared viewing. I don’t believe Netflix has the bandwidth available for the nightly Black Dynamite parties that would no doubt be going on.  Until then, I say you go just go and buy this film.  It will sit nicely next to The Blues Brothers, Animal House, and Caddyshack.

The Walking Dead: You know, the sad thing about a zombie movie is after two hours the feature ends and we are left wondering what happens next. But what if we could watch what happens to our survivors for a long period of time? At least that was the concept behind the popular comic series developed by Robert Kirkman. For a comic, The Walking Dead is unique as it focuses far more on character development and less on the zombie hoard.  The zombies, in fact, act much like a dangerous natural element that the characters have to deal with and less of a plot element. The other cool thing about The Walking Dead is how real it is. People resort doing doing some pretty nasty things to one another in their quest to stay alive just one more day. Main characters come and go and we should expect that in a world where the dead rule the Earth. This past Fall, AMC released a six-part mini-season based on the comic. I was both excited and a bit anxious as to what we might see onscreen as Hollywood has a tendency to mess things up or dumb things down for their audience. But this was AMC, and the first episode stuck true to the comic storyline. And with over five million viewers, it was the highest-rated premier on AMC and became the most watched cable series for its demographic. The storyline would eventually split from the comic, but the overall tone and emphasis of character development over action stayed the same. AMC has picked up this classic for another 13 episodes, and I personally can’t wait to see what happens next. 

No Ordinary Family:  2010 had some great TV shows: Madmen, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, but this little show on ABC has become a guilty pleasure for me. The show is essentially a live-action version of one of my favoriute films, The Incredibles. The Powells are an ordinary, dysfunctional family who gain super powers after their plane crashes in Brazil. The father (Micheal Chiklis) has super strength, can leap several blocks, and is seemingly invulnerable. The mom (Julie Benz aka Rita from Dexter) is super fast, and as a scientist by trade she is more than curious about how they got their powers. Their kids (Kay Panabaker and Jimmy Bennett) have lesser powers as the girl can read minds while the son has become a Reed Richards super genius. There is a bit of Heroes-like mythology going on in the back-story, but the real strength of the show is the characters and how they interact with one another and grow from their new found abilities.  Whomever is writing the reboot of the Fantastic Four should pay attention to this show, as Disney and ABC “get it.” It’s campy and fun, and even the bit characters play their roles to the tee. Even the unlikely pair of Chiklis and Benz seem to pull off a believable couple together. Bottom line, the show is just plain fun, and I hope I get to see more of it in 2011.

Kinect: I’m one of those people Microsoft was targeting when they thought up Kinect. I don’t own a Wii, but I am interested in what it can do. But with all the shovel-ware and stories about it collecting dust, I could never get myself to drop the cash to jump into the experience. Kinect seemed like a more logical transition for me, and upon purchasing one last Fall I can finally understand what motion gaming is really all about. Folks can argue that there really isn’t a lot out there right now, especially for the hardcore gamers. I can admit that may be true, but I am also convinced that Kinect is here to stay and that the future looks bright for the peripheral. I say this for many reasons, but mainly because the tech just seems to work and there is something magical about gaming with no controllers. It has revitalized the gaming experience for my entire family, and for me that is well worth the money I paid for it. Here’s hoping that the new titles that come out for the system are as tantalizing and cool as Dance Central and Kinect Sports.

Red Dead Redemption:  I might piss off some Grand Theft Auto fans out there, but Red Dead Redemption is a better game.  In fact I do believe that it is RockStar’s BEST game yet and one that I can’t seem to stop playing. Maybe it’s the newness of the Old West that got me hooked. Or perhaps it was the amazing storyline and characters. Or maybe it was the surprise ending that got the internet abuzz with discussions. Whatever the reason, Red Dead Redemption is in my top ten list of favorite games ever played and the new DLC keeps me coming back to the environment for more fun partners.  Not to mention that the DGR night we had in the game, holding the fort from sleazebags on our server was quite frankly one of the best times I have had on Xbox Live ever.  Thanks guys (and Token). 

Inception: Christopher Nolan has proven that he’s the King of the Mountain when it comes to directing movies. Not only did he make us rethink how we view one of the most iconic super heroes of all time, but he can take us to places we never dreamed of before. Such is the case of Inception, a movie that is as close to perfect storytelling as I can remember. We follow Leonardo DiCaprio and his team into the world of the dream and are left wondering if what we experienced was ever real at all. When asked if he could explain what he actually meant by the end of his film he stoically explained, “If I did that it would ruin the entire reason why I filmed Inception. The movie is supposed to leave you questioning. If you feel that way, it did its job. The man is a stud, and I can’t wait for how he ends his Dark Knight trilogy and the upcoming Superman project.

Lost Finale: Never has a show left me feeling so satisfied and with so many unanswered questions at the same time. For six seasons we watched the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 unravel the mysteries of the strange island they were stranded on. The storytelling and acting were top notch, and the show spawned several podcasts as viewers tried to decipher the clues left behind in each episode. Whether you enjoyed the final episode or not, Lost and its canon have secured their place in our society and lore. Just the other day my colleagues warned us not to open the hatch when dealing with a sticky project. It is a show that I will miss, and one that I will also enjoy revisiting on BluRay. 

Mass Effect 2: This is my pick for the Daryl Awards this year. Why, you ask? No, not just because I can bone alien creatures (ohhh yeah) but because the character development in this game is so strong, I actually miss them when I am not playing. Bioware has simply mastered the dialogue tree and you can’t help but feel a connection to the characters in the game. That, and it’s the only game I can remember that built on my decisions from the previous game. Countless references to seemingly unimportant characters and my encounters with them solidify that the world of Mass Effect is uniquely mine; there are no two universes that are exactly alike. They fixed the combat system so things flow much smoother and no more tedious armor and weapon upgrade guessing games, just lock, load, and kick ass. Downloadable content for the title has been nothing less than stellar and the last installment (Lair of the Shadow Broker) dramatically changed the universe I play in. I have to wonder how the addition of that single piece of content will affect Mass Effect 3. That, my friends, is sheer brilliance in game design. 

Good BAD Movies:  As Hollywood searches for some creative ways to express itself without rehashing old ideas (thanks but no thanks Yogi Bear) certain directors have seemingly created their own genre by making really bad movies that are just plain FUN to watch. The story-lines (if any) are paper thin, the acting is laughable, and the effects are ridiculous, but for some strange reason they work. Maybe because these movies know they are bad and never try to be anything other than what they are. This summer, we saw what may be the goriest and most awesome killer fish movie of all time, Pirhana 3D.  A movie that took the 3D realm to new heights with 3D boobage (and mind you there was not one boob onscreen that I didn’t care to see, they were all excellent). It was campy and fun and one of the best times I have had at the movies this year. Later in the fall, I gathered my fellow DGR faithful for a Netflix showing of Bitch Slap, a movie that truly must be experienced in a group setting. The movie was awesomely terrible and one that I plan to enjoy with a group of friends over and and over again. Let’s hope that we see this trend continue as directors take their craft just a bit less serious. It may not make a good movie, but if we are entertained I certainly don’t care.     

Robot Panic:  I remember when I got the email from Hilden, “Hey Ryker thanks for submitting all this cool shit. Here’s access to the blog and keep up the good work.” Those that read my stuff know that I haven’t always been a good writer, in fact we might be able to make a pretty good argument that I’m the opposite. But at least I have the opportunity to contribute to a community that shares my interests and is pretty bad ass. I’ve also been blessed to help the guys do their live shows and that is a real treat.  I am always impressed with their passion in delivering a great show every week, and just how genuine they all are.  Last Summer we all got together at Moe’s for the 5th anniversary show and bonfire (sorry about your neighbor’s house Moe). It was one of the best times I have had all year; hanging with the good friends I have made here and enjoying a night together.  For the real magic in all of this isn’t in the articles I write, or the awesome shows the guys do, but it’s in the community that we all share. So thanks to all my friends here, your are truly amazing.  Here’s hoping for a great 2011!

ESPN 30:30 Box Set - ESPN has been running this incredibly awesome series of thirty sports documentaries this year to celebrate 30 years on the air. ESPN reached out to some of Hollywood’s top directors to create these films that celebrate some of the most talked about and under-appreciated moments in sports. The first box set just went on sale last week, and it collects the first fifteen films of the series. This collection covers such memorable spectacles as the OJ Simpson car chase on June 17, 1994, the rise and fall of the USFL, the Wayne Gretzky trade to LA and the tragic death of Len Bias.

No more Lost - I had a very strong love/hate relationship with Lost. For every good episode that saw a major plot development or great moments, it was usually followed with an episode that killed off one of your favorite characters or added yet another unneeded question to keep the WTF balance in check for the series. With Lost finally ending after six seasons in 2010, I am grateful that I will no longer have to anticipate any more episodes of this bizarre program that sent me on a whirlwind of emotions like no other show before it. I promise to never waste another moment on this show again…unless ABC will somehow manage to re-release the entire series in chronological order.

The Book of Basketball - This was actually released in 2009, but the paperback edition just hit shelves a couple weeks ago and it includes all kinds of bonus content! I finally finished the hardcover edition of this book a few months ago, and even only being a casual hoops fan I found it to be an extremely informative and entertaining read. Bill Simmons knows his hoops, and his humorous writing style features all sorts of imperative footnotes that makes catching up on basketball history fun for everyone!

Season Two of The Tester & WCG Ultimate Gamer - As much as it pains me to lay this out there, I love both of these shows. Say what you will about reality television and the usual hi jinx that it contains, but I was entertained by second seasons of The Tester and WCG Ultimate Gamer this year. Both shows are eight episodes and features video game themed challenges where the goal is to win to become either the next PlayStation game tester (yes, really), or for a one year roster spot on WCG USA. There are a few characters and moments on each show that are pretty groan inducing I will admit, but that is par for the course with almost any reality show. If you can manage to stomach that, than you will be in for a fun ride that brought back memories of old video game contest shows like Video Power and Nick Arcade.

Heavy Rain, Alan Wake & Red Dead Redemption - If you happen to remember my article half a year ago here ranking the top 10 games for the first half of the year, you may recall that it was a particularly strong first half of the year for games. Rest assured, now with 2010 nearly in the bag, I can say without a doubt that 2010 is the first year where the first half year of releases easily outclassed the second half. It outweighed it so much so that my top three from the first half of the year are my top three for my overall game of the year. And I hold all three of these games on a high pedestal with not much ground separating them in my rankings. Pardon the cheap plug, but to hear my final top 10 rankings, please subscribe to my podcast where we will be having our game of the year episode within a few weeks.

Pinball FX2/Marvel Pinball - Hats off to Zen Studios for their consistency at pumping out nonstop awesome video game pinball tables! Almost every time I sit down to play games, I tend to warm up with a couple of runs on a pinball game made by Zen Studios. Whether it was them supporting Pinball FX and Zen Pinball with frequent DLC tables throughout most of 2010, and then proceeding to blow us away with Pinball FX 2 and its amazing evolution of table design and leaderboard upgrades. They did not stop at Pinball FX 2, because just a couple months after that fine release, they pump out Marvel Pinball, with four more addicting tables themed after some of the best superheroes in the Marvel Universe…and Blade. I dare you to download a table or two and not get hooked to the amount of sheer fun each table provides and the addictive nature of score chasing everyone on your friends list.

Miz as WWE Champ - This just would not be a “stuff of the year” list from me without a couple wrestling mentions. Mike “The Miz” Mizannin had quite an interesting journey to becoming the current WWE champion. From debuting in the entertainment world ten years ago on The Real World, to riding the MTV reality circuit for a few years until finally debuting in WWE in 2004 on its Tough Enough competition. Being one of the few Miz fans from his early beginnings in WWE when no one thought he would last a year in the company, I nearly lost it when he finally proved all the doubters wrong and  won the WWE championship.

The Nexus John Cena Beatdown - Just one more wrestling moment to add to this list. If you used to be a wrestling fan, odds are you watched during the WCW/WWF Monday Night Wars when each company was raising the bar each and every Monday to get you to flip the channel. With no real competition, WWE has become complacent with its storytelling and features less and less must see moments each year. In 2010 they managed to capture some of that old fire with the debut of the Nexus stable. Here they made an impact with an 8-on-1 beatdown on John Cena and literally tore apart the ring and beat up the entire ringside staff in a moment completely unprecedented. The Nexus has since become one of the most interesting stables of wrestlers in quite a few years.

Kevin Smith just posted this up on SModcast.com. It’s a trailer for his new flick, Red State. And it looks and feels nothing like a Kevin Smith movie.

Honestly? It kinda gives me a boner. How ’bout you?

If you want to see a bigger version, hit SModcast.com. I can’t embed the full size here without fucking up the site.

When you follow cool people, brilliant unintentional collaborations happen. We have enough to shoot a new television episode and make $thousands; hundreds of $thousands. This is a twitter happenings from the Tuesday before thanksgiving. We are gifted writers.

———————-

@SimpleNate Ugh. Sick AGAIN for the last 24 hours. Why do I get sick when I’m trying to make healthier decisions in my life? Where’s Dr. House?

@DJIncompetent It must be Sarcoidosis. And Lupus. Sarcoidlupus!

@phneri It’s never Lupus!

@skreesha wow, it’s like I just started watching House again

@DJIncompetent Patient contact! Everybody lies! Onoz my leg! Vicodin-nomomom! I’m a goddamn genius! Idiot!

@SimpleNate It’s not Lupus. CT his liver, run a LP and biopsy his brain.

@phneri I found the solution! It’s fungus! Super cancer deathassfungus! Angry rant at Wilson and surgery scene!

@SimpleNate Wait, if you treat that fungus, it’ll kill him. First we need to make him worse.

@skreesha Force him to run on a treadmill until he collapses

@DJIncompetent Wilson! You weren’t there last night! You were seeing a girl you should break up with cuz I haxorz your email!

@DJIncompetent Freeze! Extreme face closeup! OMFG Epiphany! Dramatically walk out of the room mid conversation! next scene!

@SimpleNate It’s not the cancer that was making him sick. the patient is ALLERGIC to cancer!

@skreesha The cancer cells are allergic to copper!

@SimpleNate The patient, in the head, with a copper bullet.

@DJIncompetent House! Patient won’t accept treatment for copper-cancer-double-allergy because his son will die of his karma-religion

@SimpleNate You’re an idiot. Get Cuddy to reluctantly accept my bullet treatment and make a joke about anal sex.

@DJIncompetent Before that Cuddy will have to sign off on my fake test and waive 8 hours of clinic duty. Bump into her boobs!

@SimpleNate Patient had rabies. Let’s wrap this up so I can play piano, drink whiskey and stare off into space.

@DJIncompetent Cue montage with sad licensed song and show House at the only time he’s ever laughing but it’s inaudible.

@phneri Close out with final WTF drama scene of Wilson working on his hidden meth lab. Losing first tooth.

For those unfamiliar with this groundbreaking film from 1927, it’s hard to appreciate how exciting it is to finally be able to see the entire film, uncut in this newly released edition on DVD and Blu-ray. Like many things that have been lost in history, I never imagined the footage would ever be found to re-assemble this film to the original cut. At about 2.5 hours, I’ll be the first to admit it’s too long and drags at points, but I’m also more forgiving of an 80 year-old film than I would be for something released today. I’m actually not going to be an apologist for the length or the hokey aspects of this film either. It’s got so much to offer, the negatives aspects are dwarfed by the positive ones.

You don’t have to worry about not noticing any of the newly discovered footage, as it will be readily obvious what is what when you are watching. The only known complete print, discovered in 2008 in Buenos Aries, is a ravaged 16mm negative which is in terrible shape. They have cleaned it up considerably for this release, but it still looks awful, and has a different crop than the rest of the film. It’s so bad, in fact, and the running time is so long, it’s easy to wonder why they bothered to include it. Especially compared to the rest of the film, which is taken from a 35mm camera negative, as sharp and HD as anything other than an IMAX movie.

Aside from trying to capture Fritz Lang’s original vision, there are two reasons to see this extended version. Number one is that the story makes much more sense with the new material. I haven’t watched Metropolis as often as other movies because the plot seemed kind of choppy before. The second is the music. Since this is a silent film, the music is more important than in most movies today. Having the original score and the complete film, allows us, for the first time, to really get immersed in the world of Metropolis. There is a quote I’ve heard attributed to Stanley Kubrick, that “film is 90% sound”. An amazing admission from a guy who got his start as a photographer and is known for the keen visual style of his movies. The point is you can’t play the complete score of Metropolis without the complete film, and the music needs to be heard in it’s entirety to really do its job right. This is something one can really only appreciate if you’ve seen the edited version and the complete version, because, just as the plot is choppy in the edit, the music is choppy too, and that really detracts from the experience.
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When I was a kid, the first bit of anime that I was introduced to wasn’t Sailor Moon or Speed Racer. It was a serial cartoon show called Star Blazers. Every Saturday, my brothers and I would watch as the crew of the space battleship Yamato traveled across the galaxy in serach of a cure for a dying planet Earth. While not a new concept to Japanese audiences, it was the first episodic cartoon I can remember. It had a kick ass story, amazing battle scenes, and a very memorable theme song. My brothers and I would often make Lego Yamato battleships including the dreaded “Wave Motion Gun.”

That was some thirty years ago, and despite an equally as cool sequel series, I never saw much of Star Blazers. It even took quite awhile for it to reach DVD under a completely different name. Back in Japan, however, the Yamato and her crew have enjoyed several fantastical adventures and many animated feature films, including Final Yamato dubbed as the longest animated film ever made (163 minutes, folks).  Universal concepts such as honor, sacrifice, and love for your fellow man made this show a success abroad and loved by those who could remember it here.

This Decemeber, the Yamato and her crew will step off the animation cell and into the world of live action. Directed by Takashi Yamazaki (Japanese Academy Awards winner and special effects wizard) the movie will star Takuya Kimura as Susumu Kodai and Meisa Kuroki as Yuki. There was a teaser trailer that floated around the net this summer, but only recently did the studio let us get a glimpse of what we could expect. There are only a few things that bring me more joy than that which celebrates things I loved in my youth. For many of the images, characters, and obvious movie plot points are taken straight out of the cartoon I loved as a kid. Even Susumu’s hair is spot-on from his animated counterpart. If you’re an old fart like me, or a fan of the Yamato, you can’t help but get goosebumps watching what I can only describe as a whole ton of awesome. I’m not exactly sure when we might see a US version of this film, but I might just have to catch a ride to Japan to check it out. That is if Godzilla isn’t attacking at that time.

http://yamato-movie.net/en/

Okay, raise your hands if you owned a train set when you were a kid. Okay, now you parents out there, do your kids watch Thomas the Tank Engine on a regular basis? I ask these questions to prove a point: despite its reduced use in our transporation system, almost all of us have a fascination with railroads. Maybe it’s the big powerful locomotives, or the intricacies and puzzle-like nature of the railroad tracks themselves, but somewhere deep down inside of all of us (yes, even you Moe) is a love for all things related to trains. Yet, when we look at popular culture, there have been very few films on the subject. Runaway Train (a great film in its own right) comes to my mind as the last decent film I have seen on the subject and that was a long time ago. So I was excited when I first saw the trailer for Unstoppable, Tony Scott’s latest film about a runaway train. The trailer had me hooked and I couldn’t help but get excited watching it. Luckily for all of us, the excitement in the trailer is about one-tenth the excitement you will experience on-screen.

Unstoppable is based on the true events of the “Crazy Eights” unmanned train incident in 2001.  The train left its Walbridge, Ohio rail yard and began a sixty-six mile journey through northwest Ohio with no one at the controls. Apparently, the engineer left his slow moving train in order to switch a line. However, this genius didn’t set the train’s dynamic breaking system and he watched in horror as the train sped away. Two of the train’s tank cars contained thousands of gallons of molten phenol, a toxic ingredient of paints and dyes. Attempts to derail the train failed, and police were unable to shoot out the fuel release valve. For two hours, the train traveled along at speeds up to forty-seven miles-per-hour until the crew of a second train coupled onto the runaway and slowly applied its brakes allowing railroad employees to eventually stop the train. 

Aside from some exaggerated tension and unique plot twists, this is essentially the story behind Unstoppable. What brings this story to life however is the incredible directing by Tony Scott and brilliant performances by both Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. We should all have a good feeling about this film going in, as Tony Scott is a master at placing us in surroundings and making us feel like we are there. He made us feel like we were in an F14 in Top Gun, and later took us several hundred feet below the sea in Crimson Tide. His movies generally leave me on the edge of my seat and Unstoppable is no different. Scott uses a variety of camera angles to build tension and give us a perspective of the raw power behind this speeding locomotive. The train itself becomes the main character and that’s not an easy task to accomplish. 

This is not to say that Washington and Pine merely phone it in and let the train do all the work. Their performances are equally as powerful. Washington plays an old-timer who is forced to share his shift with Pine, a rookie conductor who has apparently been promoted in the union because of family connections. Pine has his own problems to deal with as he’s been kicked out of his house by his wife. The tension in the cab between the two of them is very believable, and yet they must put their differences aside in order to stop the runaway train. Denzel and Pine work very well together in this film and, in a way, their characters are reflections of where they stand in Hollywood (the aging stud performer vs. the up-and-coming new guy).  Hopefully, as in the film, Pine can learn a thing or two from Denzel, because I can’t remember seeing him in a bad film. 

All-in all, Unstoppable is simply two hours of non-stop fun at the movies. Sure it’s a bit over-the-top, but what good popcorn movie isn’t? My wife and I were on the edge of our seats the entire time, and there was tons of applause at the end of the film. Unstoppable probably won’t win any Academy Awards, but I will say that is is by far the best film I have seen this fall; and I’m sure it’s better than a lot of the foliday films that are about to be dumped on us. So grab a friend or significant other and get on board for one hell of a ride!

Rating = 4.5 buckets-o-popcorn

When I was in college, we would often have special screenings of new release movies and serve as a “Marketing Test Audience”.  I got to see a whole bunch of cool movies before they came out, and the one that sticks out in my memory the most was Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.  I remember telling all my friends how amazing this film was and how they should all go and see it. Since then, I have become a road warrior for my job (hence the lack of posts recently, sorry about that) and the antics of John Candy and Steve Martin as they deal with business travel still ring true today. So when I heard that Warner Brothers was releasing a similar travel buddy film, I ran out to the theater with high hopes. 

Due Date centers on Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) a traveling architect who is trying to get home to his wife Sarah, who is going to be giving birth to their first child. While arriving at the airport, he bumps into a fledgeling actor named Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis). The two accidentally swap luggage and through some very funny cirmstances end up on a “no fly” list. Ethan offers to drive Peter home in his rental car as Peter’s wallet has gone missing. Peter reluctantly agrees and the two of them share some zany adventures as they try to get home in time for the birth of Peter’s child.

This movie has some good things going for it. First, Zach Galifianakis is his usual funny self, plyaing the most annoying car mate you could ever imagine. Ethan is socially inept and completely unaware of how his actions and conversations make those around him uncofortable. In a large room, one could always walk away from such a person, but Downey is stuck in a small vehicle with him for a few days. It’s a similar to his role of Adam in last summer’s big hit The Hangover. Yet, underneath his annoying exterior we find a very humble and decent guy. One could say that Ethan is lost; dealing with losing his Dad and trying to define who is he is by going to Hollywood. It takes a lot of work to portray a guy who is so outwardly annoying and yet so inwardly fragile and Galifianakis pulls it off marvelously. Downey’s character is much simpler, and yet he manages to convince us of his inward struggle of wanting to strangle Ethan versus understanding who Ethan really is. 

Second, there are a couple of fantastically funny scenes in this film, including two that center on Ethan’s dog Sunny (who appearantly has learned a pretty nifty trick). But for me, these moments don’t come often enough as director Todd Phillips focuses on character-revealing dialogue to tell this story. I must say that this kinda caught me off guard, as I was hoping to see the ramped up crazy shit that we saw develop in The Hangover. But sadly, the movie doesn’t have the pacing or edge that made that other film work so well.  

John Hughes had success with Planes Trains and Automobiles by taking two opposite people and placing them into outlandish situations. These characters struggled to get along while battling what the travel world threw at them together.  It was overcoming these situations that created the friendship and the heartwarming reveal at the end of that film. In Due Date, we watch and laugh as the smart guy gets beat up and tortured by the antics of the dumb guy. This would be perfectly fine, except that we are asked to believe that some friendship is brewing out of that, and it didn’t quite work for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, Due Date is a funny movie, and there are just enough laughes to make your movie experience worthwhile.  But with the comedic talents of its stars and the pedigree of its director, this movie could have been so much more. It’s certainly a good date movie for a weekend matinee, but I would hesitate to pay full price or buy the DVD. 

Rating = 3 buckets-o-popcorn