Like him or not, David Lynch is a master storyteller and well known for his unusual works, such as Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, and Twin Peaks. His stories center on the unusual and oftentimes are quite messed up. So when David Lynch tells his daighter Jennifer that her latest work is the sickest thing he has ever seen, you know it’s pretty twisted. 

Surveillance deals with two FBI agents, Elizabeth Anderson (Julia Ormond) and Sam Hallaway (Bill Pullman), as they investigate a series of murders in rural Nebraska. They are met with distrust from the local police representatives, mainly because one of their own was killed and some of them are on trial here as well. They set up their surveillance equipment and begin to question the remaining eye witnesses: police officer Jack Bennett, the cocaine-addicted Bobbi Prescott, and Stephanie, an eight-year-old girl whose family was murdered by two figures dressed in jumpsuits and latex masks. Throughout the course of the questioning, we learn that everyone involved has something to hide and not everything is as it seems. Can the FBI figure out who is behind these grizzly murders before the killers strike again?

Surveillance won top honors at the 2008 Stige Film Festival, and it also brought in Best Director honors at the New York City Horror Film Festival. This makes Jennifer Lynch the first and only female win such honors. The film is dirty, gritty, and very real. A lot of unpleasant things happen during the course of this film, and I will admit at times it is very hard to watch. I, for one, found that to be appropriate. Stories about serial killers shouldn’t be easy to watch.  It’s the what they do and why they do it that becomes ultimately fascinating for fans of the genre.   In Surveillance however, even our victims aren’t altogether likeable and that only adds to the eeriness of the narrative. 

The film also does a decent job at keeping you on your toes.  We find that there are secrets within the witness testimony, and who is telling the truth ultimately reveals itself in a somewhat suprise ending. For fans of serial killer movies, Surveillance is certainly one worth watching; if for no other reason than you can talk about the film and how messed up it really is.

Ever since FireFly, I have had just a bit of man-love for Nathan Fillion.  Some may argue that he plays the same type of character all the time, but I find myself liking the characters he plays, so I guess I don’t mind so much.  And his portrayal of a small town sheriff Bill Pardy is no exception; he’s a likable everyman with just a tint of southern charm to him. Oh sorry, I have to pull myself together for a  minute and discuss this movie. 

Directed by James Gun, a writer for the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead (awesome film), Slither is a modern-day adaptation of the classic B-movie alien possesion story (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Shivers). In the peaceful town of Wheelsy, businessman Grant Grant (Michael Rooker) is infected by an evil alien creature, bent on destroying human race. Grant returns home to his lovely wife Starla (Elizabeth Banks) with a sudden urge to eat a lot of meat. Soon, unusual things begin to happen; pets go missing, then livestock, and finally people. Grant slowly mutates into a hideous alien and releases slimy worms that latch onto the townsfolk transforming them into zombies. Like the Borg, these zombies are being controlled via a hive mind relationship with Grant. Sheriff Bill Pardy and a small group of survivors discover the zombies can be traced back to Grant and they set off to kill him. 

Slither is a comedy-horror film and as such it’s not very scary.  In fact, the movie didn’t do very well at the box office primarily for that very reason; audiences were expecting a horror movie and instead they got Slither.  But what Slither lacks in the scares factor it makes up for in the fun factor as this film is simply a shit-ton of fun! The effects were pretty good and oftentimes quite disgusting. If you are a fan of watching people blow up and explode into a pile of goo, then this movie is right up your ally.  The slimy worm parasites are very creepy and the sight of them makes you squirm.  

The story isn’t very deep, or new, but the funny and oftentimes clever narrative keeps you involved every step of the way. The character development is also pretty good for a horror flick. We discover that Pardy and Starla were once an item, but she couldn’t wait for his indecisions and so she married a rich man. This return to what once was story also isn’t new, but is effectively portrayed by Fillion and Banks (man she is quite hot in this film). Grant struggles with knowing this all too well and he’s obviously a man who knows that he over-punted his coverage. Finally, the film has a great deal of repeat viewing potential as there are some classic one-liners and a pile of cool scenes in it. 

So grab a beer and a freind or two and enjoy two hours of gross-out, zombie, evil alien fun…with a touch of Nathan Fillion of course! 

Now this is more like it. Keep in mind that this is the old Universal movie from the 30s, and not the spoof from 1963, which I suspect the folks who made Dark and Stormy Night were trying to emulate.

This classic features Boris Karloff as a mute butler who takes a group of stranded motorists into his Welsh mansion for the night. The residents of the mansion are, of course, all deranged. Their host is Horace Femm, joined by his mostly-deaf (and mostly crazy) sister Rebecca.

As the night proceeds, Karloff’s creepy-as-hell butler character (named Morgan) winds up getting drunk and terrorizing the guests until he eventually releases the eldest brother Saul, who tries to burn the house down and all the residents with it.

The Old Dark House is a classic “spooky-old-house” story and one of the best in the genre. The Femm family predates the whacko families found in flicks like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House of 1,000 Corpses by several decades, yet winds up being just as creepy without the use of gratuitous violence and over-the-top torture segments. There’s one scene in particular (see below), early on in the movie, that takes place in a bedroom while a female guest is changing her clothes. Rebecca Femm tells a story of her dying and “godless” sister who died in that room, writhing and screaming. The camera shows Rebecca’s disfigured reflection in the mirror as she tells the story, drifting further and further into crazed delirium. It’s a marvelous effect and a perfect example of what makes this movie so great.

There’s nothing quite like the classic Universal horror movies of the 30s, and The Old Dark House is the perfect spooky black-and-white popcorn flick and one that I highly recommend.

I love me a good murder mystery spoof. Private Eyes and Clue are two of my all time favorite movies. So with that in mind, I checked out Bantam’s Dark and Stormy Night, which promised to give me an experience similar to the classic “big-old-house” spoofs. It was similar, alright…just not nearly as good. That’s not to say that the flick didn’t provide any laughs. It just rang a little hollow with me.

Dark and Stormy Night follows the standard schtick where a handful of strangers are invited to a spooky old mansion for the reading of a will. Included are the bratty beneficiaries, a couple of reporters, a motorist who broke down nearby, and the servants. Naturally, before the ins and outs of the will can be sussed out, bodies start piling up.

The movie is shot in black and white on what is obviously a set, with the exterior scenes built out of cheap models. It’s meant to be noticeable, and I suppose that’s the joke. But rather than give us an original spoof, Dark and Stormy Night seems satisfied in just rehashing jokes from existing spoofs, like the aforementioned Private Eyes and Clue, along with a bit of Murder by Death for good measure. So I guess that makes it a spoof of spoofs? That’s pretty fucking meta…

Anyway, Dark and Stormy Night is a mediocre film at best, that almost seems as though it’s being put on by a community theater. Again, there are a few laughs to be had, but I doubt this one will wind up being a favorite.

Don’t forget to tune in for Sunday SHOCK Theater streaming tonight on Xbox Live/Netflix as Ryker XL presents Sugar Hill.

Today we’ve got the latest movie from the Godfather of the zombie genre, George A. Romero. Survival of the Dead isn’t a great flick by any means, nor is it among Romero’s best. That said, even the least of Romero’s zombie movies are worth watching, and this one in particular poses a fairly intriguing scenario: what if killing the zombies is not the answer? After all, they aren’t really just “zombies”. They are (or were) our friends, our family, our loved ones. Is putting a bullet in their brains really the answer? Because, after all, what if the zombie plague is simply a disease that can be cured, and once the cure is found we can then get our loved ones back?

Yes, this concept has been touched on in past zombie flicks, such as Day of the Dead, but Survival explores it pretty deeply by using a feud between rival families as the vehicle. On an island off of Delaware live two factions, one of whom thinks in order to survive they need to wipe out all the zombies, the other who believes they should lock up the zombies in hopes of a cure. If you’ve seen Romero’s Diary of the Dead, you’ll remember the group of soldiers who appear about halfway through the movie. These soldiers return in Survival and get in the middle of this island debate. What follows is a fairly decent zombie flick with lots of blood, gore, a few laughs, and…an army chick diddling herself about ten minutes into the movie. So yeah… Even better, the movie’s just been added to Netflix Instant Queue.

So again, while Survival of the Dead isn’t the best zombie movie out there, it’s definitely worth a watch. I mean after all, it’s Romero.

Tomorrow we’ll check out a spooky old mansion.

Last year, a few of us got together and watched an hommage to the blaxploitation horror films Insane in the Brain.  It was by far one of the best times I have had watching a Netflix streaming movie.  Zombies, pimps, big afros, and really bad acting. What else could you want?  Well the truth of the matter is such films actually existed and this week my friends I bring you one of the finest in all its glory: Sugar Hill.  Realease by AIP, makers of such fine classics such as Blackula and Scream Blackula Scream, Sugar Hill tells a familiar story for the times. 

When her boyfriend is brutally murdered by some white gangsters, Sugar Hill decides not to get mad, but BAD!   Calling upon the help of aged voodoo queen Mama Maitresse, Sugar asks her to call upon Baron Zamedi, the Lord of the Dead, for help in gaining a gruesome revenge.  The evil Baron agrees to raise an army of the dead, but in exchange for her very soul.  Will Sugar Hill get revenge on the man?  Or will Baron Zamedi get the last laugh as he drags her soul to eternal damnation?  I don’t know about you sucka, but I can’t wait to join my Robot Panic friends this Sunday at 7:00 PM CST on Xbox Live to see some funky zombie action!!!

First of all, let’s just take a moment to admire that poster. That, my friends, is how you design a movie poster for a horror film.

The House of the Devil is a slow burn. It builds slowly, at a Hitchcock-like pace. For the first fifteen minutes, you’ll simply watch a college girl walk around with minimal conversation. As the first act passes, you’ll find yourself wondering, “Is anything going to happen?” But please, stick with this one. It pays off. At least, it did for me.

Stylistically, The House of the Devil is a marvel and if you didn’t know better, you’d guess it was filmed in the early 1980s, rather than just last year in 2009. But that was all by design. It was shot on 16mm film, just like the old slashers of the 70s and 80s. The style, wardrobe, soundtrack, and even the font used during the credits are all decidedly 80s. Why? Shit was scarier back then. No cell phones. No internet. Just a rotary phone and an empty house.

I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot (what plot there is). But the movie is about a girl who takes a babysitting job out of desperation. She’s got bills to pay, so while she knows something’s not right about the gig she’s about to take, she needs the cash. The entire cast is outstanding, but it’s Tom Noonan’s performance as Mr. Ulman that really stands out. The guy comes off as harmless and deadly all at once, and that is an amazing feat.

I encourage you not to read any plot summaries before watching, as it’ll make the ending all that much more surprising. Hell, you may not even want to watch the trailer below. The movie is available on Netflix Instant Queue and is highly recommended if you don’t mind your horror flicks being more suspense than actual hacker.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the greatest zombie movie of all time. Of this there is no debate. George A. Romero’s 1978 sequel to the classic Night of the Living Dead encapsulates everything great about the genre. There are thousands of undead roaming the streets, the survivors are interesting and engaging, and the setting is nothing short of classic.

Much of the film takes place at the Monroeville Mall in Pennsylvania. But the action begins at two different locations: a television studio that is slowly degenerating from an information source to all-out chaos, and a tenement building where the National Guard is invading in order to clear it of zombies. Two characters from each of these scenes join up and flee in a television news helicopter and eventually wind up seeking refuge at the abandoned mall.

Romero is a master not only of the living dead, but of using the zombie plague as a backdrop for a deeper narrative of social issues and human interaction. The longer the survivors stay holed up in the mall, the more they realize they’re not really living. And when events finally force them to act, shit hits the fan.

Again, this is the greatest zombie movie ever created and one of the greatest horror films of all time. If you’re going to seek it out (which you should), I highly recommend the Dawn of the Dead (Ultimate Edition). It contains multiple cuts of the film and tons of extra features.

Alright, so this one is a TV series and not a movie. But that just means there’s more of it to enjoy.

Vampires are big business these days, for some fucked up reason. And believe me, before True Blood began, I felt the vampire schtick was the worst of all the horror genres. It just hadn’t been done right in so long. From the half a million takes on Dracula to the god-awful Twilight vampire/tween craze, it was just so played out. But then HBO got their hands on the Sookie Stackhouse novels and it all changed for me.

True Blood excels in just about every category. Every episode has buckets of blood, gory kills, hot naked chicks, and over-the-top plots. The show not only has vampires, but demons, werewolves, shape shifters, and other supernatural elements.

If you’re new to the show, the gimmick is simple: Japanese scientists have invented a synthetic blood, and as a result, the vampires that have been living in secret all these years are now able to “come out”, so to speak. After all, they no longer have to feed on humans and animals, so they should no longer be feared, right? Yeah…

The show takes place in a tiny town in Louisiana, where there’s a lot more crazy shit going on than just vampires. The star of the show is a character named Sookie Stackhouse, a young waitress who is able to read minds and who soon falls in love with a newly-outed vampire. As the episodes go on, complications arise and soon everyone in town is dealing with some sort of supernatural phenomenon.

True Blood’s third season just finished up, and the first two are already available on DVD. The show is nothing but campy, bloody fun and I highly recommend checking it out.

Alright, we established last year that the original Halloween is the greatest slasher of all time, right? Good. Glad you’re on board. Now for its sequel.

Part two takes place immediately after the first film. And by “immediately”, I mean literally the same Halloween night. After the events of Halloween 1, Laurie is obviously traumatized and in need of treatment, so she’s hauled off to the hospital. Meanwhile, Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis keep searching for Michael Myers. Well, wouldn’t you know it? Michael has some sort of supernatural ability to sniff Laurie out and the majority of the flick takes place in the strangely abandoned hospital as Laurie tries to once again escape Michael.

Rough night, eh?

But why is Michael so interested in Laurie? Why does he keep coming after her? Well, if you don’t know, you’ll have to watch this flick to find out. And that’s not a bad thing at all, as Halloween 2 is a surprisingly decent movie and holds up pretty well. It may not equal the first in terms of scares and quality, but it certainly stacks up well against other slashers of the day.