Left 4 Dead 2: More Opportunities for Song-Based Abuse
A while ago I put together a little ditty about the hunter.
Promises of more were made. And not kept.
I lie about stuff. A lot.
However, I have decided the new infected are too good to pass up, so based on the lovely demo (which B Nerdy from..somewhere…graced me with), I bring you these…
…creations.
Enjoy!
The Spitter (To the theme of “Oops, I did it Again”)
Oops!
… I did it again.
I spit acid on you
Face lost in the drain.
Oh, melted baby.
Oops!
… You think I’ll explode
That I’m just a boomer
but I’m gonna spit acid on you
The Smoker (To the theme of “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”)
You don’t know how you got it
You just that you’re caught
Oh Lordy you’re a-runnin’
From the horde and you got caught
In the intestines
All stretched out
You’ve been smoked!
Oh no, don’t be shy
You don’t have to go hide
I’ll hold you, choke you, lick you, kill you
The Boomer (To the theme of “Baby Got Back”)
I like to puke and I cannot lie.
Just love to see that bile fly.
When a survivor sneaks in with a clean mug
and an itty bitty gun I get BLEEARGLBLPTHH *explode*
The Charger (To the theme of “Hold My Hand”)
Hold my arm
Want you to die right now
Hold my arm
I’ll slam you down you’ll see
Hold my arm
You don’t have a choice when I come
‘Cuz I’m going to pound you down into that trash can
The Jockey (to the theme of “Just the Two of Us”)
Just the two of us, I’m on your back for a ride
Just the two of us, (And I’m going to eat you)
Just the two of us, running off that cliff
Just the two of us, you gonna die
From the first time I hopped on your back
I knew I’d run you balls-first into a coat rack
Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough?
Against your struggles, choose right into the car
From the survivors we stray afar
Took a hour just ta get aimed out the window glass
Zombies dyin’ all fast, got me kind of upset
Got you ridden safe, into the barbed-wire fence
That night I don’t think one wink I slept
As I slipped your face in and out of the garbage disposal
Touched your head gently, ate some brains up
Cause I know I loved them more than this comedy stuff
Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please
Let me find a witch, give me all I need
Tanks, hordes, and hilarity, too.
I pledge my unlife to you
Just the two of us, I’m on your back for a ride
Just the two of us, (And I’m going to eat you)
Just the two of us, running off that cliff
Just the two of us, you gonna die
***
So remember, the next time someone bursts into hideous song during a L4D2 game, blame me. And send your hate mail to Moe.
Toodles
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Tags: horrible music, left 4 dead, Zombies
