Mana Energy Potion
Ok. So, I realize that the pot is calling the kettle black here, but there’s just a level of dork that I can’t seem to fathom. It resides squarely in the camp of this product right here, Mana Energy Potion. While on a recent excursion to Frye’s in Los Angeles, my astute sister-in-law pointed this product out to me in all it’s uber-nerd glory.
Now, first off, Mana presents itself not as an energy drink but a potion. Which means that somewhere, presumably over a hex grid and some 20 siders, some dude is going to stand up and hoist aloft this potion and say something like “ENERGY RESURGENCE +20!” before slugging it down. Or possibly this is simply a link in a long chain of aids toward getting that coveted “Shit Your Own Pants” achievement in World of Warcraft. Either way, it’s positioning itself in a very serious niche and I’m simply curious to see this product in action.
The website has this to say:
WTF is a Mana Energy Potion?
Mana Engery Potion is the premium energy shot made by gamers for gamers. It’s for long nights of gaming, partying and the longer mornings that follow. It has lots of vitamins, no sugar and no aftercrash.
What is it going to do to me?
It will bump your mana or your HP up +160 (real world humans have about 100 mana, by the way). It’s 5-8 hours of smooth, jitter-free energy. When it comes to caffeine content, this potent shot is equivalent to about two 8-ounce Red Bulls or four cups of crappy office coffe.”
The actual Mana product is a blue colored liquid that is delivered in a small vial about the size of an airplane liquor bottle. There is also another variety, called Health, that comes in a red colored form. Presumably this variety has a different taste (apple-cinnamon according to the website) and is filled with more herbs and vitamins than Mana. You know…to make you more..healthy in battle.
What I can personally tell you is that this product tastes like crap. But that’s just me. Your Mana consumption mileage may vary. You can find this stuff in most of your big box retail shops if you look hard enough and bottle retail for around $3.00 a bottle.
I don’t know about you folks, but I’m going to caffeinate myself the old fashioned way with coffee. The way GOD INTENDED.
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Tags: energy drink, mana
March 16th, 2009 at 9:45 am
“READING COMPREHENSION +2!”
March 16th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Loss of virginity -10
March 16th, 2009 at 9:58 am
I was in FRYs in Atlanta last week and totally saw that stuff. UM…no I didn’t buy it.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Anyone else find it repulsive how lame, crass, and stupid every single product “Made for gamers!” is? That shit is the definition of lowest common denominator.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Well, generally, the stuff marketed towards any specific demographic is pretty lame, but whatever. It’s good to laugh at.
March 16th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Rorschach’s Journal. Standing in Fry’s. Blood-red motherboards stacked on the shelf, looks like a picture of insanity. Store employee walking towards me. Looks like another annoying drone, a tool of the corporate juggernaut. I look to my right. Several boxes of something called Mana Potion. Grab one on impulse, drink it. Corporate drone is vaporized by bolt of searing flame surging forth from my palm. I take the whole box. Security guards don’t try to stop me. Gonna be a lively evening.
March 16th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
“Or possibly this is simply a link in a long chain of aids toward getting that coveted “Shit Your Own Pants” achievement in World of Warcraft.”
As opposed to the achievement for shitting someone else’s pants?
March 16th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
@badbad_leroybrown
The gamer razor is the worst. And most hilarious. Somebody should compile a list of all these strange “for gamers” products. It’d be a good article.
I’m personally waiting for Advil: Hardcore Gamer’s Strength, Gamer Paperclips by Officemax, The Swingline Gamer Stapler, the Blue Cross Blue Shield Gamer Community Blue Insurance Plan, “Gamer-ade”, TurboTax State Gamers Deluxe Software with free pack-in of Hotel Dusk: Room 215, Gamer’s Liquid Paper With 3-Way Powerup Rollers, GameWow: The Gamer’s ShamWow, FlOw & Flower Gamer’s Double Pack, Jouney’s Greatest Hits: Gamer’s Edition, a remanufacturing of Nintendo Cereal, The Bucket List: Gamer’s Collectors Edition for Blu-Ray, Gaming Tampax Tampons for Gamer Girls, The Hilton Gamer Hotel, Preparation G: For Gamers, Crest Gamer’s Toothpaste in Gamer Flavor with Spread Shot Tube, another run of Game Fuel, and The Gamer’s Catalina Gaming Wine Mixer for Gamers by Gamers.
I’m simply too hardcore for conventional household goods.
Seriously, people who play videogames have completely different DNA from other people. It’s totally proven, mang.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Strategy Chocolate.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
So help me, I would have bought this in high school for my D&D group. I am a nerd.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:09 am
haha D.J.I. – Preparation G, for when you’ve been sitting in that same chair for hours playing video games and you need HARDCORE RELIEF!!!