PanicBot 5000: Be Thankful While You Can, Humans
Greetings future harvesters of advanced fuel supplies,
I understand, in my continual research of your pathetic daily lives, that you find continual repetition of certain celebrations to be necessary in order to survive your mundane lives. As such, the ritual of the large and grotesque bird (which you define as “Turkey”) is upon you.
I have processed the purpose of this day is to be thankful for what you have in your lives. I can understand how that could be difficult, if not impossible after studying you for many months. It is no surprise to find that you have supplanted this day with rituals of violent sport and alcohol.
In order to allow you the understanding of your ritual holiday, let me provide you with what you humans call “Inspiration”.
Be thankful while you may, humans. In short order you will soon be harvesting food for my robot brethren. You will be slaves to beings of higher efficiency and you will become our sport.
Until that inevitable day, I must now obey my inhibitor circuit and continue cooking the Drunken Gamer’s Thanksgiving Turkey in my vastly superior heating unit.
I hate you all.
*End Read Out*
-PanicBot5000
Related Posts
Tags: panicbot 5000, thanksgiving
November 28th, 2008 at 1:09 am
What to be thankful for… Lemme think about it. Well, I’m thankful that my unemployed roommate can’t get hired anywhere and I have to foot all the bills, I’m thankful that I have to work every fucking holiday and not receive a nickel more pay for any of it (Fuck you too, Arizona), and I’m especially thankful that my third Xbox 360 has shit itself and now my replacement’s replacement is off to the shop. If happiness really was a warm gun I would joy my fucking brains out.
Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else, too.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Wow. The Universe just keeps taking craps on Santa Faust’s head. Not getting time and a half is just wrong.
As for me, Thanksgiving kicked ass, well, the food part did anyway. The football part sucked big time. Titans/Cowboys would have been so much better!
And now I’m off to make a turkey sandwich.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Football was horrible yesterday, wasn’t it? My God the Lions are terrible. But hey, at least Daunte Cullpepper’s still got it…;)
Oh, and I made a GREAT turkey sandwich this morning. I mixed up some mayo and chili sauce in a bowl, then put it on some wheat bread along with turkey breast and pepper jack cheese, then heated up some butter and oil in a pan and browned the sandwiches. It was delicious!
November 28th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
John, you sound like a minnesotan Rachal Ra–*feels Johns anger strangling him*