Comic Reviews: 09.02.2008
Tyler Durden 84 sends us some reviews of comics sitting on your local shelf right now! Enjoy!
Author:Tyler Durden 84
Amazing Spider-man #568-569
Written by: Dan Slott
Art By: John Romita Jr
Continuing the arc titled “New Ways To Die”, Amazing Spider-man #569 gives us the next issue that tells about Spider-man dealing with a political candidate who may have some secrets that he would rather not become public. In the previous issue, Spider-man finds a sweatshop that is later linked to a politician. Parker gets heat from the new boss at the Daily Bugle and decides to fight back by giving Ben Urich’s paper, Front Line, his newest pictures, proof of candidate Crowne’s sweatshop.
Meanwhile, at the DB, Betty Brant is tasked with finding dirt on the other mayoral candidate, Martin Li. Li runs the F.E.A.S.T. centers. F.E.A.S.T. or Food, Emergency Aid, Shelter and Training, are designed to help the downtrodden get back on their feet. Pete’s very own Aunt May often helps out there, too. A surprising guest to the FEAST center is former Mr. Venom himself, Eddie Brock, only now a cancer patient due to the symbiote leaving his body and attaching itself to the former Scorpion and new Thunderbolt member, Mac Gargan. Eddie, in the last issue, was “healed”, unknowingly, by Martin Li, curing Eddie’s cancer and ridding his mind’s obsession over Venom. He returns to the FEAST center to tell everyone the good news. Becoming yet another “miracle person” that had once frequented mayoral hopeful Li’s FEAST centers.
Meanwhile, Crowne contacted a friend by the name of Norman Osborn, master of sorts of the Thunderbolts, a group of supervillains who, under supervision, are tasked with tracking down and detaining unregistered heroes and villains. He tells Osborn to help him regain the polls by finding out the person who found out about his dirty secrets (Peter Parker). Osborn and the T-Bolts track down Parker at his apartment and question him. Parker gives nothing to an internally furious, yet outwardly cool Osborn. Osborn and the T-Bolts leave, but are given orders to follow Parker in hopes of him leading them to Spider-man.
Note: This is after the events that rewrote history, so people no longer remember Parker outting himself as Spider-man.
While on patrol, Venom strays course, led by a sense that he is closing in on Spider-man, only to have his “nose” lead him back to Eddie Brock at the FEAST center. There, Gargan Venom makes contact with Eddie, casuing the symbiote to leak back onto Eddie, but this time causing an adverse reaction and creating the postive to Gargan’s negative Venom, the Anti- Venom! Clad in white living flesh, this new Venom is ready to fight back against its former oppressor.
Overall, the stories after Brand New Day are pretty good. I like the new arcs that don’t deal with established villains like Doc Ock and Green Goblin. Post BND has new or lesser used villains take up some spotlight and I couldn’t be happier. At first, BND felt like a slap in the face, but now it feels like a breath of fresh air. Things are back to Pete not being able to make rent, having girl problems, getting beaten up and being the outcast of New York City. With each arc, a new writer and artist steps in, so every 3 or so issues, the feel and look and everything about Amazing Spider-man changes. So if by chance you don’t like a certain artist or writer, you only have to wait a month. Amazing now ships weekly or at least 3 of the 4 weeks in a month.
Currently Dan Slott is writing, and well, it’s not too bad. He manages to throw in some classic feeling jokes for Spidey to tell during fights, makes Pete feel wimpy and geeky again, creates some interesting detective work for Pete and the other characters to figure out. Art-wise, John Romita Jr is pretty good. A few weird looking characters in an otherwise fairly drawn book help keep Spider-man looking good. Even though some characters look goofy, coughcough Norman Osborn coughcough, they all appear different. All too often do I read issues where every character looks the same,coughcough Leinil Yu coughcough. The art seems clean, yet has a sort of personal messiness to it, but it doesn’t distract. Overall, Spidey is back and is now catering to the fans. New teams, new stories, new villains, essentially, a Brand New Spider-man.
At least it isn’t in 3D.
Final Crisis: Superman: Beyond 3D #1
Written by: Grant Morrison
Art by: Doug Mahnke
But this fucking rag is.
I’ll admit, the only reason I picked up this issue is because it’s partially in 3D. I haven’t been reading Final Crisis. I have no idea what’s going on in it.
This issue doesn’t really explain anything about the past events in Final Crisis. Apparently, Lois Lane is in some kind of coma and is dying. Clark Kent is at her side at the hospital, when he is visited. All of a sudden some chick shows up and tells Clark Kent about a chance to save Lois. He agrees and is whisked away to her ship. In the ship, they trip fucking balls through all the Multiverses through some sort of all connecting hallway.
Along the way, the group are joined by different “Earths” Supermen, each with a goal they wish to gain. Some trying to save their own planets, some want more power and others just want to save their own skins by whatever means necessary. Eventually, they are attacked by a Monitor and crash land into a place called Limbo. Limbo is inhabited by a small group of beings that can neither remember how they got there and let alone, get out.
Superman learns that there is a library that houses a book of infinite pages, essentially containing every book that will ever be written. Inside this book, supposedly hold the means to get out of Limbo and save Lois. It takes two Supermen to lift the book, but upon trying to lift, they witness the creation of the same Monitor that previously attacked them. Upon learning of its evil intentions, they attempt to escape with the book, only to learn that the Monitor has tracked them down.
End book 1.
Overall, I’m totally lost and it’s really fucking confusing due to the constant skipping through various Earths. Also, some of the scenes feel really jarring and it’s hard to tell what is happening. The writing is by Grant Morrison, a self admitting drug user, so who knows what kinds of drugs he was on whilst writing this issue, but it is apparent that he WAS on something. Reading this issue is like listening to someone who just smoked pot all day talk about the inner workings of their mind and why dogs and cats are a species that are essentially slaves to another, it’s weird as fuck and you don’t gain anything from it.
The art is good. It is bright and active. There are all sorts of crazy looking things to see in this book. From different worlds, to different creatures, there is value to the art. The only gripe is the 3D scenes have that weirdo looking effect that looks like the same picture was printed twice, albeit, slightly off tilt. It looks real bad if you don’t read it with the glasses, and when you do, the normal art looks super shiny and the colors are just red and blue. It’s really a case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. There really isn’t a nice middle ground in this issue. Fuck it, the art looks like shit either way. It’s bad enough the fucking glasses are made for a 6 year old’s head, let alone a 6 year old who can even comprehend this shit. Point me to the direction of a kid that can wear these glasses AND understand this issue and I will nominate him/her the new President of all these goddamn Multiverses.
Look, maybe I’m not the best at explaining this issue. I really don’t know a whole lot about Superman or anything at all about Final Crisis. I just bought it because it is in 3D, and really at a $4.50 price tag, I feel ripped off. I knew damn well what I would get from this issue, I just thought that it would have more 3D scenes in it. Granted, it is kinda fun to see it 3D at first, but I can’t imagine I would ever read this issue again. And, god, how can you NOT punch someone in the face for wearing the stupid fucking glasses that come with it:
^Me, fake shooting myself for buying this waste of paper and ink.
Wolverine #68
Written by: Mark Millar
Art by: Steve McNiven
I like Wolverine. I do. Some of his stories really make me strain to say that, but ultimately, he CAN be interesting. Wolverine #68 is just that. I’m lacking the number of hands needed to count how many “Alternate” futures I have read in my time. The current arc of Wolverine is only adding to them. But what it is also adding, is a cleverly, fleshed out and pseudo post-apocalyptic future. In this future, ALL the heroes have died by the hands of villains. Well, almost all. Obviously Wolverine is alive and well, that is a given, since the guy can seemingly not die (I’m currently finishing a self written story to submit to Marvel in hopes of getting a chance to change this, wish me luck!), and his old buddy, Hawkeye is alive. When I say old, I mean old. Hawkeye is goddamn falling apart, let alone the fact that he is blind to boot. But, cuing in a dash of Daredevil, he can tune his ears in to hear where enemies are and dispatch them with his trademark bow.
Ok, the story is simple. The heroes of the world were all mysteriously killed by villains. The ones who didn’t get killed are all broken and hopeless. The USA has been sectioned off like some evil Louisiana Purchase. Various villains all hold a piece and are constantly trying to get more, think Gaza Strip but with Magneto and The Kingpin fighting over it. The catch is that Hawkeye has enlisted Wolvie to help him traverse the land in order to deliver a shipment of unknown mystery. Oh, and
Wolverine refuses to fight along the way. But he does help by reading the map of the country, while blind Hawkeye drives. Makes sense, huh?
Now I know that you are probably asking, “How could Wolverine not fighting be this interesting?” Well, you would be wrong. The whole time you are just waiting for Wolverine to snap and get back to his old ways, but so far, nada. He gets beaten and beaten and beaten, making blind ol’ Hawkeye do the fighting. If reading a map and plotting directions were a mutant ability, Wolverine would have it.
This issue we get more info about the strange family of the future Parkers, I think It gets confusing. The future wife of Hawkeye is a future daughter of Peter Parker. The future Hawkeye has a future girl with the future daughter of Peter Parker and now the future daughter is the new future Spider-man..er, Woman. Hawkeye gets pissed when he finds out she went after the Kingpin to try to stop him, so understandably, he wants to save her from danger, and, Wolverine gets dragged along, but at least he is getting paid. They finally encounter the Kingpin’s stronghold and quickly, and surprisingly, brutally massacre everyone inside. I’m surprised at how gory this issue is, but it is beautifully done. McNiven, of Civil War fame, pleases the optics in this one. All this battling leads up to a very promising conclusion. The new Kingpin is decapitated by a fucking shotgun, and no, they didn’t shoot his head off, they swung the Mf’ing gun and cut his head off! The future Spider-Woman is released from her jail cell by her father, only to attack him and claim that she only came to the Kingpin’s territory in order to claim it herself. With the future Spider-woman aiming the gun at a disbelieving Hawkeye, Wolverine sits at the wheel of the duo’s vehicle, watching the events unfold, with a choice: To Kill or not to Kill…
Wolverine #69, heh heh, comes out next month, and if you have been missing out on Wolverine, you truly are.
Well, that is it for me. Let me know next week what issues you want to review and we
can go from there.
Later!
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Tags: 3d, final crisis, spider-man, superman, tyler durden 84, wolverine
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